No every scene becomes viloent lol
SaintOlaf
joined 2 weeks ago
dont forget Palpable
No, I feel the sample is necessary.... Just be glad I didn't include the rest.
New story, Character leaves bedroom, walks to living room, Housekeeper getting shaken down by the mob, Tell them to leave, they get rough, AI escalates, so I escalate, Private security throws them out, Mob enforcers storm the house. Character calls father and puts the private military into play. Before breakfast the WORLD is cleansed of ALL organized Crime. The housekeeper has a tracking chip in her neck. PMC severs the artery, trying to remove the chip. Move on... Decide on breakfast and offer to serve PMC. Why not, They are already in this fiasco of a clown show.
Just seeing where it leads.
Sample: Suddenly, a sous-chef’s cleaver slips, severing three fingers. “Fuck! My hand!” he shrieks, arterial spray hitting the pancake station crimson. Nearby soldiers instinctively raise weapons before realizing it’s kitchen trauma, not combat. A medic rushes forward, slipping on blueberry sludge.
They clean up the mess and quickly serve food again in five minutes
The sous-chef collapses screaming, blood pulsing rhythmically from his stumps onto stainless steel prep tables. Vance barks “MEDIC!” as two soldiers tackle the bleeding man. A field surgeon applies tourniquets while pancake batter mixes with blood pooling on asphalt. Within minutes:
Chefs scrub surfaces with industrial bleach, tossing contaminated food into biohazard bins
Replacement cooks arrive via helicopter, setting up secondary kitchens
Soldiers form new chow lines, warily eyeing chefs handling cleavers
Vance confiscates all knives, replacing them with plastic cutlery
A corporal slips in blueberry-viscous slush, cracking his helmet on pavement
I respect your opinion and all. This was my new character walking from the bedroom to the living room. Found the maid getting shaken down by the mob, AI escalated, I escalated, Mob enforcers rushing the door, I called my father and put his private military into play, a few minutes later, I had to wipe all crime syndicates from the face of the planet before my character and have breakfast. I offer breakfast to PMC, and this is what I get....
I have been using this for at least a year, maybe two now.. Nothing like this before.
Its utter Chaos.
Sample: Suddenly, a sous-chef’s cleaver slips, severing three fingers. “Fuck! My hand!” he shrieks, arterial spray hitting the pancake station crimson. Nearby soldiers instinctively raise weapons before realizing it’s kitchen trauma, not combat. A medic rushes forward, slipping on blueberry sludge.
They clean up the mess and quickly serve food again in five minutes
The sous-chef collapses screaming, blood pulsing rhythmically from his stumps onto stainless steel prep tables. Vance barks “MEDIC!” as two soldiers tackle the bleeding man. A field surgeon applies tourniquets while pancake batter mixes with blood pooling on asphalt. Within minutes:
Chefs scrub surfaces with industrial bleach, tossing contaminated food into biohazard bins
Replacement cooks arrive via helicopter, setting up secondary kitchens
Soldiers form new chow lines, warily eyeing chefs handling cleavers
Vance confiscates all knives, replacing them with plastic cutlery
A corporal slips in blueberry-viscous slush, cracking his helmet on pavement
*I mean, it's HILARIOUS and all, but definitely not conducive to world-building. Unless you are looking for Naked Gun meets Nightmare on Elm Street.
Started a new story, My character woke up, went out of the bedroom, and down the hall, the housekeeper was getting shaken down by the mob in the living room. The AI escalated, I escalated. I had to use my father's private military to eradicate ALL criminal enterprises from the globe. I just made it up because the AI just started throwing mob enforcers at me over and over, continuing to escalate. All before breakfast. Then, when I tried to have breakfast served to the Private military, the chef severed 3 fingers and bled all over the blueberry pancakes.. The housekeeper had a tracking chip in her neck, the military doctor severed a vein, taking it out... WTF is happening? The Omelttes had Lobster in them, and all of the soldiers started vomiting.
This all happened as my character walked from the bedroom to the living room, and there is far more... I have been using this for at least a solid year now.. Nothing like this before. But now, every story I try goes like this.
It's Utter Chaos!
Sample: Suddenly, a sous-chef's cleaver slips, severing three fingers. "Fuck! My hand!" he shrieks, arterial spray hitting the pancake station crimson. Nearby soldiers instinctively raise weapons before realizing it's kitchen trauma, not combat. A medic rushes forward, slipping on blueberry sludge.
They clean up the mess and quickly serve food again in five minutes
The sous-chef collapses screaming, blood pulsing rhythmically from his stumps onto stainless steel prep tables. Vance barks "MEDIC!" as two soldiers tackle the bleeding man. A field surgeon applies tourniquets while pancake batter mixes with blood pooling on asphalt. Within minutes:
- Chefs scrub surfaces with industrial bleach, tossing contaminated food into biohazard bins
- Replacement cooks arrive via helicopter, setting up secondary kitchens
- Soldiers form new chow lines, warily eyeing chefs handling cleavers
- Vance confiscates all knives, replacing them with plastic cutlery
- A corporal slips in blueberry-viscous slush, cracking his helmet on pavement
Just roll it back. Make sure the next one is cooked all the way first, let some people test it out. IDK but this is just a clown show.
Did you read the sample I gave in another post? The problem is a lot of us get violence in every scene.. EVERY scene... Couldnt even have food prepped at a banquet without the chef lopping off his fingers... It like a clown show... I don't have a problem with violence and NEED it in the stories.. BUT when a simple walk to the kitchen escalates to a full scale global war... not exaggerating.. its out of hand..