SARGE

Military personnel taking time out of their taxpayer-funded training exercise to get some social media material.

As former enlisted, an argument could be made they were AWOL. They were not in their designated place at their designated time, and did not have permission to do the thing they did.

Does it come with a drink cooler?

a few minutes earlier

"hmm, I'm bored. Oh look here's some people enjoying a small laugh. Imma shit on the fun. How DARE they enjoy a joke I personally don't like. The FOOLS! THE ABSOLUTE MORONS! I simply MUST tell people their frivolity is absurd."

Oh shit me too...

I'm falling asleep already though.... Imma need to set a reminder for tomorrow...

have femme name picked out "just in case, you never know what crazy things the future holds"

have online shopping cart with a few outfits "just in case I decide to make something like that for a friend"

check out realistic breast because it's perfectly normal to want boobs

Still cis though

You can just buy keys.

I actually have a few that I keep in my protest bag.

I also have a couple pairs of cuffs.

To paraphrase a great captain, "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness (or something wrong/error), that is life."

I can hear that exclamation point...

Obligatory "John Brown Did Nothing Wrong"

Same. I found a funnel that fits perfectly in a plastic cup keep a couple rags in, and the cup is tied to my small can.

Got tired of spilling gas on my fingers.

I might need to make myself a little pump, since I already have everything I need and a 3d printer...

We made it constitutionally protected via the 13th Ammendment. It's bullshit, and one of the many reasons, IMO, why minorities (especially black people) are still disproportionately targeted by law enforcement.