RiotDoll

My mom has been severely disabled for honestly more of my life than she's been healthy at this point. It goes back to 2005. She's 61 right now, her brain is kinda addled from oxygen depriv and a lot of medical events, so idk what her finances look like but I can guess she needs more help than she's let on. Her phones are off, her gas is off, and a bundle of other shit is cutting off. I didn't know this till yesterday. she's in the hospital (which is fairly normal tbh). Her fixed income runs at a loss just paying bills and eating as little as possible, and her family are kind of worthless maga shitheads who think this is all somehow her fault. My dad's a deadbeat and they're divorced anyway, she's single, however support amounts to what him, my sister, and myself can divert to her, which is well short of what she needs, especially since right now i'm also dependent on outside help to be solvent.

I'm going down to texas to probably say my goodbyes to my grandfather, who is dying rapidly. My family is mostly dirt poor, and organizing my airfare has drained the people who can actually help her. However, I kind of need her in the loop because her place is 1/2 of my shelter down there for this stay. I can work around no gas for cooking, but I can't really do much with her if i can't communicate with her.

She can restore her phone service for $280. I have no idea about gas, but she asked for $500 total yesterday, which just isn't fucking possible for me. Neither number is something I can really deliver, but I figured i'd try here.

With that phone off, she can't even really get the help she needs. She has one dirt poor ride or die neighbor friend, and i believe she'll do what she can, but there's really no support network here if she's fully cut off from me and my sister. She relies on us to get her any extra support, be that with talking to family or negotiating rides and help from friends, it's all kinda on us, and we do it from hundreds, and thousands, of miles away so we are super limited.

Starting to think i need to set my shit aside and go back in the closet to live with and help her, but I can't do that just yet. I'm just trying to make sure i'm in communication for the month i'll be in the area if at all possible, but I can't make that happen without external help.

If you can help, anything i get sent right now will go to her bills

my venmo and paypal are @ktkatte. If you can help via other apps, i can furnish those details in private message.

not sure what i'm expecting but i gotta try i guess.

hey so, i wanna go down a kind of deranged rabbit hole, as i sometimes wanna do, and i need to be able to browse local nyc news through the 1960s, but doing that is gated behind a lot of paywalls as far as i can tell

i really don't have the fucking funds to drop on archive access, so i'm wondering how people get around this?

I happen to live in a different big metro but i can't imagine their archives are either easy to access nor worth the hassle of travelling 2 hours via transit to check out, but i guess i will if i have to.

hoping hexbear has solutions

thanks

I hurt my back trying to work out yesterday (son of a bitch)

I can barely move, and i have no ibuprofen or anything here.

I also need food, and because i'm gonna have to walk my ass to the same store either way I'd like to handle both things if possible, but i'm totally broke as shit.

if you can help, it would mean a lot. I have about $3 in total between my card and change, and that's not enough to get anything.

edit: thank you!!!! this community is very kind.

Jort grease.

hey so, i'm a transfemme, i have trouble getting work on a good day. It's july, and I need any financial help that can be spared. I've been out of work a while. I get interviews, at a rate of about 2 a month, with daily applications over several apps and honest to got footwork and old school physical applications.

It has never been this hard to get a job, my physical body hasn't changed, my demeanor is what it always has been, but these interviews go nowhere. There is never followup. I am never selected to move forward.

It's extremely demoralizing, and I've more or less exhausted the good will (and economic ability) of my family and friends after needing help for this long. I'm embarassed. Capitalism expects us to work, and I'm even willing, but the work isn't coming and I guess to most people it starts to seem like a personal issue. Maybe it is? But I'm genuinely trying everything I can, and I'm still on the fucking precipice.

phone is $80, i need at least $50 on electric, but the entire bill is $300 rn. I can go without cable, but that's another $100 to keep on

If you can help, it would mean a lot. I can't reasonably expect anything, but I have to try.

venmo is @ktkatte, pm me for any other apps

Thanks for anything. Love you all.

First of all, I wasn't really a big kojima gal? I had played the first and a bit of the fifth MGS until earlier this year, where i finally finished MGS V

i realized it is an extremely precient and political game, and I think i like kojima's brand of crazy.

So then I read about death stranding. I saw the promo footage years ago, and it followed that cutscene where Deadman finds himself on that combat beach, and I assumed it was more action heavy bs that I was growing out of (hormones change your tastes what can i say), so i completely ignored it until i grabbed it on a whim recently

and anyway, WOW! so I fucking love this game. Everything is so weird. Astrology and esoterica are canon, everything is a fucking insane metaphor for something else, the world has been utterly bent the fuck over by cataclysm, and you're just a dude out there with your artificial womb, making deliveries and linking up the remnants of humanity.

I love the vibe of these little communities and holdout preppers coming together, sharing what they have to move forward into a post-cataclysmic future. I love all the stupid shit with Lockne & Malingen, I love the bridge babies, i love that one of the most potent weapons in the game is made by running around until you're so tired you piss blood, and that bloody piss gets turned into a grenade. I love having weaponized body fluids. This shit owns.

I'm not even sure death stranding 2 can live up to this.

also the multiplayer features can be a bit much (I have it set up to log in offline and to not automatically share structures because people will just spam structures in the most annoying fucking places, but they're also awesome.

I love how much cooperation and community effort is the front and foremost thing, to the point it's literally one of the stats the game tracks.

Sorry, I needed to gush about how rad this game is, years after its heyday

edit: Also if anybody is currently playing and wants to form strand contracts, i'm on the Steam PC version. I'd rather see like, specific people's stuff in my game world than like, random people's.

Right now i use strand contracts with inactive friends to sort of make it less likely i get six bridges in a forest when i go online, but i'd actually enjoy building the world map out with some people. Not gonna put my steam id out in public though, pm me for all that

a caveat that maybe state and municipal government is still somewhat democratically functional, like at that low level enough of the day to day of administering people's lives is delegated to actual democratic authority maybe

but then i look at stuff like the debate (i didn't actually watch the debate i respect myself too much) and i look at how stuff happens and how it like doesn't seem to matter at all who is in power for the average person. Like it's pretty obvious that there is corporate and wealth buy-in for domestic policy, and think tanks and stuff that set a social agenda to some degree, and I guess the democratic apparatus serves to enable that buy-in, but on the federal level it really feels like voting happens at all merely to provide a democratic legitimacy to stuff that's actually decided entirely by unelected bureaucrats and moneyed interests that are either employed by the state or privately, right?

everything connected to voting is there to give social consent right? if you vote you assent to the legitimacy of the government - and this is like, its sole function? because if not enough people did that, and people actually didn't believe in the legitimacy of the government, there might actually be a problem I guess?

Like how can we think it actually matters which of these guys [the goo brain prez candidates] ends up elected from the pov of an average person? womens and queer rights are dissolving before our eyes regardless in most places, labor rights movements get stomped the fuck out the second they start to do anything interesting, and the few state bastions of safety come from the fact that local governments still sometimes represent citizen priority in some limited sense.

like foreign policy is gonna be the exact same in most cases, like there's no voting mechanism that will end the genocide in gaza - there's no mechanism to get the MIC to stop bombing random places and sending demonic spec ops raids wherever, nor will the steady stream of funds that go into toppling any government that so much as hesitates in its fealty to the us - so ideas that democracy is the answer is meaningfuly deluded, right?

federal politics feels like a really boring kind of WWE thing where the stage are national elections and their personalities and horse races, the kayfabe is the idea that a vote translates into anything meaningful other than the governed consenting to the process, whereas WWE's actual function as entertainment and a RNC pipeline is somewhat obvious, liberals are an entire class of people who actually stake their identity on its sincere legitimacy.

I know this post is long and probably sucks, but this all reeks to me and I'm so tired of seeing people care when the actual options for positive change are narrow, unpleasant, and sometimes illegal to voice.

I want people to disengage, start building parallel structures and outright refusing to live as if this farce is legitimate and even if i'm wrong about the particulars, that feels unreproachably noble and needed.

Hey there. I'm a trans girl, queer+autistic; I've been looking for work since fucking October, and nothing has gone past the interview stage. Even for someone like me, the job market has never been this bad.

I've had a lot of help getting by since then, but my normal avenues are dried up. I'm getting really desperate, and I have no assets to speak of that I can just sell.

in the immediate term, my phone bill is $80, due tomorrow, and I have nothing to pay on it. My Electric bill is three or four months behind, but even making my payment arrangement, is $15 that I don't have, and the balance continues to leap by $100 every month anyway.

I have cable due as well, but I can let that drop and it would merely kinda suck.

I am behind on rent, as understanding as my landlord has been, I don't know how long his good will is going to last.

Everything that can be turned off, is on the threshold of doing so. It's kind of an emergency, as I can't even continue seeking work without at least my phone service.

In the long term, my disabled mom is also drowning financially, is permanently, severely disabled, and I'm looking at trying to get her up to Washington state to live with me so we can share costs and I can look after her. Those moving and onboarding costs are going to be huge but I can't even think about that right now.

I would not be making this post if i weren't desperate.

my venmo is @KtKatte, my cash app is $KTBentle, paypal is https://paypal.me/KtKatte

Sorry to bother you all. Please PM if there are issues