Rachelhazideas

I imagine these sorts of messages get attention because they can be very validating

That's a pretty big slap in the face speaking as someone who grew up with chronic stress. I'm in my 20s. My thyroid has gone autoimmune on itself. I developed PCOS before puberty even fully set in. I have fibromyalgia, a condition that renders my entire body up in a permanent state of pain and suffering.

I didn't get to where I am because I didn't 'manage my stress well enough' or 'didn't look at it positively enough'. It's not as simple as bad genetics either because people my age don't typically have these conditions.

I don't want to gatekept for not managing stress well enough, so I'll just put some statistics out there: I've moved 26 times growing up, went to 14 different schools, lost 13 pets consecutively, sexually abused before I was 10, called the cops due to life threatening situations 4 times in my life, and went no contact with everyone I was related to. The fact that I made it to adulthood alive should be proof enough that this isn't a stress management issue.

When you live in chronic distress, not eustress, your body will eventually pay the price. There's a book called 'The Body Keeps the Score' by Vessel Van Der Kolk that does a fantastic job of explaining this. As a result of my body breaking down in pain and no longer being able to exercise, live, and function the way I used to, I will most likely die sooner than I would have if environment conditions didn't trigger all these latent health conditions. And that's ok.

What's not ok is being told that I could have better health outcomes if I had just look at my stress more positively. Buddy, if I look at my stress any more positively than I did I would no longer be managing my stress I would straight up be in denial that anything bad even happened.

I am the feminist movement. You are speaking it right now. This is the image of feminism. If you don't like what you see, don't shuffle around and just admit that you are an anti-feminist.

The feminist movement isn't some men-hating caricature you see on Fox news. It's normal people caring about those who suffer from the patriarchy, men and women alike. It's people over at Men's Liberation community. It's donating to the local women's shelter because over 90% of SA victims are female. It's donating to men's suicide prevention charities because over 80% of deaths are from men. It's understanding that the men's mental health crisis is a consequence of patriarchal structures. It's understanding the pervasiveness of systemic oppression on women's lives. It's learning to empathize with the different but real struggles that the other genders face.

If you simply 'don't care anymore' because you are concerned about image, that's not good enough. You should care. And that starts with embracing the idea that feminism isn't a dirty word, and it's not defined by extremists. It's 2023 and it's what everybody should strive for ffs.

Christ can you not understand that most feminists fundamentally disagree with TERFs? I don't know why you are so insistant to lump them with actual feminist. Maybe consider listening to feminists, like me, instead of perpetually mansplaining about what feminists are.

It's not a 'general perception' that all feminists are TERFs. It's what your perception and the perceptions of other anti-feminists. Hell most normal men, who are feminists with or without labels, don't share your perception. You seem to have this warped perception that all feminists are out to get you and hate on men, when the reality is so far from the radicalized scheme that you think it is. People like you perceive the existance of feminism as an attack on you. It's not. It's not even about you, because you don't seem to care about men's issues either. It's about everyone else who wants to lift men and women above the patriarchy.

Girl boring guy quirky

This may come as a surprise to you, but people often deliberately mislabel themselves for credibility, or believe themselves to be something that they are not. For example, so called 'leftists' in the US are actually centrists and by international standards.

You are holding all women feminists accountable for the actions of a few self-proclaimed women feminists. That is not infantilization, that is pointing out the impossible standards that women are held to by anti-feminists and how some women will always be blamed for the actions of others.

Lemmy's userbase is problematic because often times people don't think about whether or not their experiences are relevant before speaking. Judging by your condemnation of feminists because of misandrists who claim to be one, you don't seem to understand that feminism is fundamentally about equality and bringing men and women up to par with each other. This goes beyond just women's rights. Feminism is just as much about making safe spaces for discussions about men's mental health, male sexual assault victims, paternity leave, custody, and so much more. The reason why these things are not accessible to lots of men is the same reason why women aren't being treated as people. It's because of systemic patriarchal barriers that force men and women alike to conform to certain detrimental behaviors or be ostracized.

Leave it to Lemmy's 77% male userbase to discredit the entire feminism movement because some self-proclaimed 'feminists' are misandrists and TERFs in sheep's clothing.

Women are always held responsible for other people's behaviors. Holding the vast majority of normal feminists who just want to be treated like people accountable for the actions of a crazy minority of men-hating folks is just another example of this.

Calm down it's just a comment.

That's this wife, not just a roommate.

Depends on the context. If that guy lives with other people, imagine wanting to buying a massive thing that occupies a ton of space and stating that as a need over inconveniencing everyone else who lives there, and then barely touching it more than once every few months after the first few weeks of buying it. This is what happened to a friend of mine but replace pool table with a beater car (they already have 2 cars).

After a lifetime of unpaid labor you'd think some spouses are entitled to something as minor as having some input on major purchases when money is tight.

As someone who got fibromyalgia in their 20s, that's what life is like.

A body being there makes it completely different because the normal forces exerted on that body are redirected to the thrusting body.

Not saying this is easy, but it's like asking a man to do air squats and equating it to what it's like for women being on top.

Leave it to people who've never had sex before to think this is what it's like.

Cantonese: 陳大文 (can4 daai6 man4) Japanese: 山田太郎 (yamada taro)