You yourself explained why in reality it doesn't work that way. Bakunin was proven right by history. The state is a tool for pacifying class tensions with violence. That is Marx's own definition.
That a single party rule is necessary is fan fiction by Lenin. Even Marx himself disliked the vanguardist tendencies or the people calling themselves "Marxist".
Communism doesn't need Marx. A classless, moneyless society according to the paradime "To each according to their needs, from each according to their ability" (i.e.: communism) existed way before Marx, for example in indigenous American tribes. Socialism is described as the workers owning the means of production. If the state owns the MOP, the workers' property relations mean squat.
Marx additionally was proven wrong in his claim that the peasantry can't be a revolutionary class with the Catalonian revolution. Who introduced proper socialism without a state-aparatus.
If you dilute the definition of the state so much that it loses all its' characteristics, then anything can be a state, correct. If anything collective can be a state, then my gardening association is a state. Time to print ourown money and declare our garden sovereign territory. /s
My preferred definition of a state is the institution which pacifies class tensions with a monopoly on violence. Another definition I like is based on David Graeber and David Wengrow, in which a modern state combines power over people through violence (police and military), control of knowledge (bureaucracy) and persuation (people believe in states, therefore they work). Neither of these kinds of states are necessary to have a democratic society which makes decisions from the bottom up, instead of top-down.
You claim that thinking things through leads to "dishonesty inherent in the ideology". Yst, you fail to bring up any examples. Just because you lack creativity, doesn't mean you've disproven that basic democracy doesn't work. People wouldn't vote for "absolutely everything", but people who are affected by political decisions have a say in those decisions, proportional to how much they're affected. If I don't care about something, I won't vote on it. Easy as that.
And think of what you're advocating: The "private unit" you're describing is de facto a dictator. No one voted for my boss. Yet they can make any decision without hearing any of the workers out. It is an opt-out dictatorship, yes. But given how much I need that specific job, opting out could mean that I can't pay my rent to the appartment-dictator. Opting out of that tenancy dictatorship would mean that I don't have any shelter and probably get harrassed by cops.
I'm not sure that my ideology is the dishonest one, to be frank.