63 seconds ago I thought I might have been thirsty but I drank some water and it didn't do shit. I think I might not be thirsty afterall. But you know it's always a good idea to think about thirst, especially when you're thirsty.
MacaqueAndCheese
joined 1 year ago
Twelve years ago my brother's ex girlfriend's wife attended Bottles for Christ where she witnessed a fight between two emerging authors, one was a woman who's name escapes me but the title of her book was "the girl with the dog dick tits". She didn't take kindly to another authors adaptation of the classic "pizza clowns from space hell", claiming it was rubbish and a direct insult to writers. They argued over several bottles of wine until the referees announced the winner was a different author who had written a cookbook about making dinosaur sashimi. Everyone thought it was ridiculous because you would have to figure out time travel in order to even get dinosaur meat, that is until a young descendant of Alberto Weinstein came up with a way to incubate dinosaurs from nothing more than the DNA contained in oil. Unfortunately he died of sepsis before testing out his theory and no one ever got to eat dinosaur sashimi.
Bottles for Christ never happened again after that year, 32 people died of alcohol poisoning and another 210 were hospitalized with severe liver problems. At least those 32 people got to meet their Lord in the end so I guess bottles for Christ wasn't a complete waste of time.
My uncle's dead pastor's name was Jack and he used to light candles for the fish in the tanks outside of Don Quihote in Akihabara for Easter while crowds clapped and sang Beatles songs to him
My cousin's great aunt used to suck the lead out of duplo blocks before riding her bike and pedaling so fast that she thought she was riding a motorcycle and would pull over on the side of the road to throw up until a police officer came and gave her free lunch for 6 years at an Applebee's down on Elmo Street but they closed down after 2 years so she felt pretty ripped off.
My Belgian step-neighbor did this in Cameroon once and everyone was so mad, they wrote instrumental songs about him for years. They were the most beautiful songs in the world, unfortunately they were lost to time and I never got to hear them.