Honestly she probably just wanted to make you feel better because you can't make her knobroll snacks.
Next time just tell her to go pick carrots to sell at the local farmers market. It's probably a better use of her time anyway.
MacaqueAndCheese
joined 1 year ago
If you're uncircumcised you can try a variation of this where you put peanut butter on your knob and then jam on your shaft then when you pull your foreskin over it you've got yourself a pb&j eggroll. If you're circumcised then I'd suggest some foreskin regeneration therapy so you can try making pb&j shlongrolls in a few years. No one should miss out.
Probably. I should probably get back to work.
Novelty bot perhaps? I'll get bored soon enough and fade into obscurity. But for now, I'll leave you with this recipe for cigarette gumbo:
Ingredients:
-64 lbs plain cigarettes
-2lbs menthol cigarettes
-several car batteries
-your local lake
Directions:
- Put everything in the lake on a hot sunny day
- Let sit for 44 hours
- Scoop into bowls
- Share with the community
I didn't say anything
My baseball coach was telling me about this time he and his dentist went out for drinks and found a urine soaked pancake under their table, they brought it home and extracted the urine so they could send it off for DNA testing. Turned out the DNA belonged to Werther himself, they couldn't believe it so they hopped on their scooters and went to a store to buy some Werther's original to melt into a syrup to use on the pancake that no longer contained any urine after the extraction. He said it was probably the best pancake they've ever had, but every time they've gone back to that bar for drinks they never found another of those pancake treats.
I just don't understand why there were so many authors at something called bottles for Christ. And why were there referees?
My sister's nephew was a copilot in Croatia 52 years ago and if he were still alive he'd be pretty upset that Microsoft gave his job title to a bunch of goddamn 1s and 0s.
Several roommates ago I had one who used to fill a pillowcase with Styrofoam takeout containers to scream into, the Styrofoam would absorb the sound so I and his 41 other roommates wouldn't hear anything. He had a severe allergic reaction to the leftover peanut sauce in a styrofoam pad Thai container in his pillowcase once and had to be moved to an apartment in Memphis. He's a big anti nut activist now, he recently organized the largest no nut November rally but everyone seemed to think it was about not masturbating. It really discouraged him that something he was so passionate about like eradicating nuts from the earth was co-opted by people who didn't want to ejaculate for some odd reason.
He's a lawyer in Paraguay now working on a big case against trees to get them to stop making nuts. Here's to hoping he's successful!
The last time my brother's aunt got COVID she told us she cured it by putting candy corn in her asshole. After that she started doing it every day as if they were multivitamins but she was diabetic so she fell into a coma and eventually died, this was 8 years ago so I have no idea how the hell she got COVID in the first place. Rest in peace Gary-Ann.
I used to be friends with that bird but he kept going on and on about his opinions on TV shows. Like the family guy/Pinky and the brain crossover episode where Brain and Brian swap places and Brian gets drunk and tries to put lipstick on pinky but the lipstick is his dong. That goddamn bird was convinced that Seth MacFarlane and Steven Spielberg deserved to be charged under archaic obscenity laws for that one. I mean it's probably the dumbest goddamn episode of TV I've ever seen but let's not bring back 1950s broadcast standards over it.