OK I think we have just had some different experiences with this... And that is completely fine and valid. I do not dispute yours.
I knew a girl who struggled with a lot of gender issues that I did not understand because I was actually raised in a relatively liberal, upper middle class home. Of course, my father is a devout conservative, but so many people in my extended family have all manner of conflicting ideas, and discussion of these things was never barred...
So when she talked to me about how her family frowned on her for even being interested in sports or dressing "boyish"ly , I was shocked.
So, who knows.
The United States is a very big place.
I remember, as a conservative, even getting culture shock at the levels of conservatism among Texans (lol). So, I will say that... I just don't know.
I think I am right for one segment of the society, and you are right for another. Which is another reason to prefer decentralization, IMO: let each area address its own issues, and to have a standard be one of largely tolerance.
quite a find