Yeah, I had joined Beehaw shortly before they defederated. I knew this happened, but I thought "meh, it'll be alright". I tried to make the best of it... but at the end of two weeks I was asking myself "Is this all there is to the fediverse? It's pretty disappointing".
So before I gave up on Lemmy and the fediverse, I looked for a new Lemmy server that wasn't defederating nor defederated from the fediverse. Eventually, I settled on Lemm.ee and I see know just how much of the fediverse was being filtered out for me.
disclaimer: I don't fault Beehaw for their decision to defederate. It is their choice to make, and I greatly admire and respect their transparency in the matter. However, for myself, I don't need, want or appreciate these extra guard rails "to keep me safe". I'm an adult and are willing to act and be treated like one.
The end user's ip is hidden in the onion network. The server will get the ip address of the "last node" your client routed it's request through (and that node only has the ip address of the previous node, etc).
However, the clients ip can be leaked if a server creates some Javascript which makes an Ajax call (basically, an additional http request). A malicious Ajax call will not go through the onion network and thus expose the clients real ip. Hence, it's recommended to disable Javascript and other features while using tor.