You're right, but Mastodon already has lifted some of those problems (because they had funding and energies).
Also if you need it, I know of this extension that's being developed that could the exact problem you're referring to: FediFetcher. It's still being developed but I think it's going to be very useful
Edit: I also heard about this one, it looks cool: Simplified Federation
Yes you can :) There are no stupid question, we're not accostumed to these kind of structures for social networks so it's very normal to have them. I can suggest some video like this to understand better how federation works