Kolibri

oh escape from new york! I wanted to see it for a long time now

I'll try doing that, I'm also thinking of just reading on and then coming back to that section as well and see if it makes any better sense

I really hate this hell country. I experienced another weird medical symptom thing, and it's just gonna get filed away in the back of my mind as "that was weird" because I don't have health insurance. well whatever, I'm still alive and not dead so can't be that serious "right"? until like one day it actually becomes serious and ugh. seriously death to america, fuck this country so much.

I read section 2 and like couldn't make much sense of it that It feels like I forgot everything in section 2, like I didn't read it at all, and it feels very embarrassing. I know I'm gonna have to reread it just like, got very abstract? At least for section 1 there are things that I could latch onto that like brings it all together? if that makes sense.

also in section 1, I really liked that Marx brought up diamonds in one of his examples since like that very relevant today, mainly with like artificial diamonds

I didn't get notified for this thread, I still only have the notification for the one big one.

That lighting is so good, feels very cozy, but the light themselves are really nice

I think I spent enough time being sad today. So instead I am gonna try to spend the rest of the night doing something else, like I dunno playing gw2 or watching columbo or something. I dunno. But like fuck it, I am gonna try doing something happy hopefully, since I didn't even think I would even make it by the end of the year, but I'm still here. so like fuck it, I dunno. just trying to be a little happy in midst of rough seas, even if it won't last a while

It's hard to believe it's almost 2024 already

I really wish I could turn off the part of me that like. How do I word this. Sometimes I read or hear something from someone I'm talking to and it feels like I did something wrong and like that's why that person being hostile or aggressive from what they said. and then like for a few moments my world starts to like to crash down. before a few moments after I pause and take a moment before then realizing "wait why would this person who I know or talked to before is suddenly being hostile or aggressive?"

and then I like take a moment to reprocess everything before realizing I like misread the entire situation. and they weren't being hostile or anything at all, actually the opposite and just ugh. it's exhausting.