Kolibri
joined 2 years ago
I really like that Marx ended chapter 31 on this
If money, according to Augier, [14] “comes into the world with a congenital blood-stain on one cheek,” capital comes dripping from head to foot, from every pore, with blood and dirt
also, all that legislation in chapter 28 is extremely fucked up
venting about my dad again x999 before sleeping cw: alcoholism, self harm
I was putting some stuff in the fridge before sleeping and I saw that my dad put his drink in the fridge. and for whatever reason. It makes me feel very very upset. Meanwhile I also heard him coughing to. And just like. It hurts? I don't know why he refuses to get help. Like my mom left him years ago because of his drinking. And lots of people tried to get him to stop.
and he still refuses to get help. and why doesn't he just get help? why does he REFUSE at this point to get help? It's like.. the fucking same with his cough. where he also REFUSES to see a fucking doctor or someone! and why! It makes me upset in a way because like, no matter who, whether its me, my mom, his grandma, other family. He just doesn't want to!
and why? just get help dude. just get help. get help. get help? GET HELP ALREADY. FOR FUCKS SAKE GET HELP BEFORE HE DRINKS HIMSELF TO DEATH. Why does he reufse to get help? He knows he has an issue. And no matter like the resources that given to him or what ever the fuck else. He just doesn't want to.
and in a way it fills this little scream inside of myself that made me self harm a bit a few days ago. and I just. honestly. Don't get why he doesn't get help. But why would he. He thinks his drinking only affects him. It what he told me years ago. Because he was mad at some doctor telling him how he needs to stop drinking.
drinking only affects him! only him! him him him! just why does he refuse to fucking get help? And why does he ignore everyone who tells him he needs help and needs to stop, and there resources and lots of other things. But he just doesn't
and for the love of fucking god I want to dump his drink from the fridge outside again. but last time I did that, he kicked me the fuck out and if it wasn't for my mom, I didn't have anywhere to go. and my mom dead now. and there just no where to go. and why do I feel so fucked
nice!I got something very important that I been putting off far too long done!
aw, white striped freetail bats are so cute! and oh I can imagine fruitbats being noisy. esp. since they're bigger than regular bats since they're like megabats? but there also like the great flying fox? It's neat their also around you as well!
yea! for sure! It reminded me of earlier chapters when Marx started to talk about the labor market
It's neat you hear them at least! There's like hardly any bats where I'm at so it would be surprising to ever see or hear one. I'm sure they're around here, somewhere
I got a bunch of cleaning done, like cleaning the toilet or sweeping the floors done. I also redid some of my charms I made, that I feel more happier about. Now all is left is to sleep. Maybe. If I feel like it.
The orange/black/painted bat belongs to Vesper bats which are all really adorable and they tend to be small to! but not as small at the bumblebee bat, since the bumblebee bat the world smallest bat
Its either painted bats or kitti's hog-nosed bat/bumblebee bat that are my favorite
mental health stuff cw:suicide
I really hate dealing with the random thoughts or part of me that just like. "Go fucking die. Everyone hates you, just die. There no hope. Just fucking die already." Stuff like that, esp on days when my minds racing. Like, just shut the fuck up. I'm really tired of constantly dealing with this suicidal part of my self