Kolibri

were almost done with vol 2, more or less

I'll maybe think about if I ever do get into that like mental state, of reaching out, and thank you for offering it out. Thanks for taking the time and sorry you have been through similar

It's not entirely so much the relying on others. It just more like. How to word this. To give some context I made this account with this name because it's based off a character from some game, and the game talked about how said character can drag others down, while sort of called unstable. Which I related to. I bring this up since in the past with others. I did have someone say I was unstable. And last year before my mom died and stuff. I had this past friend who like, really hurt me. Where like, he said I was dragging everyone down after going to talk to him about stuff, and he also told me that I was delusional for talking about how the united states wanted to get rid of trans people. And so like, that really hurt

I didn't know I was being that overbearing on that friend and I wish he would've said something. Like to tell me to give him some space or something. Instead he kind of just held things up and sort of just took it all out on me he was dealing with something heavy himself. However at the same time I wish to have never trusted said person considering everything else.

Still I just don't want to like, be a burden or a plague or pest on people. If like, I am actually gonna negatively affect others like that, and I'd rather just be alone in dealing with it if that the case.

I'm not exactly sure what to say, but thanks and thanks for the offer. I'm not sure if I would ever take you up on that since I don't really want to bother anyone too much with this stuff too much. Like I don't mind venting on here, but at the same time I don't want anyone to like have to constantly do emotional labor or something. Especially when I'm not really helping myself much either. And especially when it comes to heavy things like these things.

hexbear is generally nice to have, meanwhile the rest of the internet just feels very hostile. this website is probably the only place im social at to, since like in real life I have a lot of trouble speaking due to having trouble speaking/speech issues. and that is very isolating at times. also it just nice to just vent on here about stuff.

I''ll think about it, I'm just worried of him doing something like. I dunno how to word this. Just something controlling in a way. If I do it gonna have to be when he's sober or in a chill mood when drunk. I really hate that a lot of things just revolve around him when it shouldn't. Like me wanting to visit my mom's grave shouldn't revolve around him.

I could and I have thought about it. Except I kind of don't want to since it will probably charge quite a bit, since it's like the other side of town I live in, and also my dad probably gonna get like I dunno. "invasive" like "what with that vehicle here!? why are you getting in? where are you going!?" and If I told him, he'd probably get mad at me by being like "well I could take you! I want to see your mom to you know!" and I just don't really want to deal with that trouble.

especially since last time, last year when I went out by myself with someone else to somewhere else, my dad threaten to call the police if I didn't get home immediately. and second time I did that, he got really mad when I was ignoring his texts.