I grew up with divorced parents, and quite a few of my school friends also had divorced parents. It made me quite paranoid about ever getting married, so I made a couple rules:
- Live with the person first for a at least a year
- Go travelling to another country with them (when I travelled alone I met a lot of people whose relationships had ended during their trip, travel seems to be a good "pressure test")
- Make sure that even in the middle of the worst fights, I still wanted to marry the person. That I wasn't just marrying them for the good times.
Think of it more as "this is the best excuse we are ever gonna have to throw a big party where we get to decide the guests, the food, etc etc"
Though I do think too many people spend a lot of money because they feel like they "are supposed to (have a big wedding)" and not because they actually want to