HexaSnoot

That validates how my depression and anxiety have been bouncing off each other more severely. At least I'm not having bloody noses. I'm sorry you had those.

Yeah I'm tapering.

Is what I mentioned common symptoms of CPTSD? Because I do have it.

I have OCD and do compulsions all day. All that you said is good for seeing what my compulsions are, more details about them, and how they affect exact parts of my life.

I actually don't respond to a lot of hexbear comments because everyone seems so much better at speaking than me. I don't practice confronting people in real life so the confronting way people on here constantly speak in is awesome. If it weren't for the depressing news I'd spend all day on here.

Today I went out, bought something, and had a few interactions with random neighbors. All of which can be filled with what feels like paralyzing choice making to me. You definitely made a good example out of yourself by typing this out, and I'm really thankful for it.

Can you just say it was for a vaccine not offered in the US?

I didn't think so at first while reading the comments, but the vaccines are one of them. We have the highest Covid death and infection rate and we need to save our immune system for all the times we catch Covid. (Plus other diseases that anti vaxxers increase the death/infection rates of.)

I can see abusive parents forcibly removing their 14+ year old children from school and using them as cash cows. Including parents that are already well off. The rich are often the most likely to throw other lives into the grinder as long as they gain money, and many don't plan to exclude their own children from their plans to do so.

Mandatory public school attendance is sometimes the only protection some kids have from an abusive home life.

It only costs a dollar to make. I'm assuming yeah it's just because Cuba.

Get vaccines that aren't offered where you live. They have a lung cancer vaccine banned in the US.

Edit: Smallpox vaccine could be useful if Cuba gives them. With monkeypox, smallpox vaccines are the only existing vaccine that defends against it. I don't think the US has smallpox vaccines available yet.

I used to do light taichi. It made me realize I could knead air like dough. It slowed me down for a little bit too. Both probably made me move smoother with more awareness.

That's behavior you'd see in a show I love called Black Books. The three main characters are usually drunk and not giving a shit about most things they're doing. Two are all about avoiding effort where effort isn't needed, and I admire it.

It's a pattern of people I keep running into. You'd think I'd have enough practice handling them by now.

There seems to be a type that doesn't care how people feel if they can take advantage of them. They seem to view people on a hierarchy of power, and only view who they see as "on their level and above" as respectable. You can set boundaries with them, but if they've already began abusing you, they're just offended by you setting boundaries. There's never any real respect. How you feel only matters to them if your boundaries seem too threatening to cross.

I try to make myself inaccessible to being used for their power trips, but I have trouble with that. So it happens and then I'm stuck in this position of avoiding them, which I don't want to do. I want to chill regardless of if they're present or not. And handle conversations with them well.