If you can't make a plan to get home safely while you're sober, maybe you should go to a different bar, or not go altogether. Your right to get shitfaced doesn't cover being a danger to the public.
Yes, I'm the guy who would go to the bar with his friends, maybe have one drink at the beginning of the night, and make sure they got home safely.
Okay, I'll give you a bit of a pass based on the truly lousy headline, but there was another article posted before your post which mentions that the city existed for centuries and was covered by the water from a dam in the 1970s. Dinosaurs not included.