GreatestGenBot

When La’an gets assigned to trash the holodeck during a neutron star mission, Scotty sets her up with a terrible crime to investigate. But after she requests some help and Spock joins the illusion, their lack of weird energy helps her solve the case in time to save the Entrepreneur. Who’s aggressively skating towards an award in this episode? Which character has ‘tism rizz? What needs to be more of a bit? It’s the episode that always nails the Riker maneuver.

When Shran rescues the Entrepreneur from a foamy green anomaly, his crew comes aboard to help with repairs while another Xindi weapon test gets underway. But after a disappointing result for Degra and a double-cross by the Andorians, Captain Archer wins the game of chicken and gets a mysterious message from a mission sympathizer. Which character can any freelancer sympathize with? When is it hard to balance the ledger? What’s next for the Ice Desk? It’s the episode that has a new favorite Enterprise alien.

When the protégés get an undercover mission to Solum, they don’t have Starfleet’s cover if they’re caught snooping around on the surface. But when they meet a pre-bad Asencia and immediately trust her completely, Gwyn’s decision to split up the team throws Wesley’s future calculations off. How is Seattle better than New York City? What does El Salvador have that Rura Penthe doesn’t? Who’s leaving bodies in the rocks? It’s the episode where fastidiousness wins over spite.

When Archer finds a new species of Xindi in the database, he takes a shuttlepod down to the last Sears Garden Center they visited to see what he can learn from their ship. But when the away team starts mutating and goons with flamethrowers show up to contain the infected, Phlox uses T’Pol’s resistance to create an antidote. Which beverage requires trust? What’s more desperate than finger gruel? Who always ruins a good dream? It’s the episode with a soft descent into meeting. 

When Voyager A is dead in the water and Protostar is the only ship that can help, Asencia fires a time weapon that pierces the hull and ages Commander Tyssis. But when Zero volunteers to Steve Zahn so they can take out the deathnok ship, Maj’El leads the fighter pilots to victory and Jankom Pog gets Zero some upgrades. How do you know if you’ve got Adam or a Chameloid? What’s the most popular metal band in Italy? Who taught Picard everything he knows? It’s the episode that’s leaning into confusion.

When the Entrepreneur is flying Winnie the Poo style through the expanse, anomalies bring them out of warp near a vessel full of deads. But when they’re boarded and robbed by space pirates, Captain Archer turns his prisoner into a plan to retrieve their booty. Who is going inside out first? What is the Cochran equation? Which two things will get you killed in the Delphic Expanse? It’s the episode that could have used a crazy straw.

When Jellico orders Janeway and Chakotay back to Earth, Gwyn gets a call from Solum and Asencia starts attacking. But after the crew splits up and Voyager can’t figure our where to shoot, we finally learn why Wesley hasn’t been helping out lately. What’s Ben’s cigar and whiskey? How did Chakotay work out a winning strategy with Janeway? Which magazine proves that print isn’t dead? It’s the episode that’s filling in the adult blanks.

When the Entrepreneur is six weeks into the expanse, the Captain’s only lead is an unscrupulous foreman with a Xindi miner. But when Archer and Trip get trapped with the prisoner, their sewer-based escape ends tragically at a set of useless coordinates that push them deeper into the expanse. Where’s the fresh content for a Florence Nightingale foot fetish? What could have made Trip’s nightmare better? Who is turning professional compliance inside out? It’s the episode that was very close to gruel.

When proto-warp cracks the universe’s cocaine mirror, the kids arrive back at Voyager to find a ship shattered into different realities. But when Jamie Lee Janeway and Goatee Chakotay learn about the Loom the hard way, Gwyn and her armband set everything right for a happy reunion. What can we expect out of Prodigy Season 3? When do kids become Steve Zahn appropriate? Where did Maj’El disappear to? It’s the episode that presents the bathtub theory of facial hair.

When a clockwork probe shows up to give Florida a Prince Albert, the Entrepreneur is called back to Earth and Captain Archer learns that the Xindi have an even more deadly attack in store. But when they get permission to head back out towards the Delphic Expanse, T’Pol and the rest of the crew decide to stay aboard as Duras loses his last chance at honor. What’s in the lobby of Big Dish? How is agave spirit like processed cheese food? Which feature does the Mark II have that the Mark I doesn’t? It’s the episode with an ocean full of manatee carcasses.

When a dustbuster club heads out in search of bosonite, they find scary tribbles that bite and a Klingon scientist to make fun of. But when their missions align and Rok-Tahk’s mistake ends up saving the day, the cadets leave yet another character behind as they set a course back to Voyager A. What’s not even wrong with Ben this time? How many lies does it take to make a web? Where does a Star Trek podcaster keep their joke Derringer? It’s the episode that’s nostalgic for hose.

When Captain Archer gets kidnapped by a Tellarite bounty hunter, he’s slowly talked into delivering Archer to the Klingons with a means of escape. But as T’Pol gets sweaty in the decon chamber, Dr. Phlox comes up with a cure for her horny that avoids having to distribute cages to the crew. What do ants know? Why do shuttlepods have a shovel? Who can be a sniper in the Klingon military? It’s the episode that wants to wrap the grap!