GreatestGenBot

When the Academy and the War College are spirited away on a field trip to visit the USS Miyazaki, everything seems like fun and games until rabid bat men crash the party. But when Captain Ake is short on options for saving the students, Admiral Openly-Judges-You-For-Not-Having-In-Unit-Laundry suggests they should set Nus on the loose. What grade level does a ship's computer read at? How do you best cook a Caleb Mir? What's the worst part about invisible space suits? It’s the episode that's front and center for the Andrew Davis film festival. 

When the Entrepreneur is stuck at top speed and Commander Tucker is the only person who can help, Reed gets sprung from the brig to tether him over from the Columbia. But after a cold restart of the warp core leads them to Dr. Phlox, he lies to deploy a bioweapon saving the Colony from getting glassed. Which long-running podcast is making the world worse? What are Boomers uniquely susceptible to? Who is in a race to the bottom honor-wise? It’s the episode that has some physics questions.

When SAM is under pressure from the makers on Kasq, getting into a new class about the unexplainable puts her on the trail of another important emissary. But after exploring the life and legacy of the Sisko, SAM learns she no longer has to defend her choices to succeed. Who didn’t get screeners? Which stunt was shot like a ConAir explosion? What is the propellor hat of confections? It’s the episode that treats DS9 like a sacred text.

When some Klingons start experimenting with augment DNA, they start a pandemic and kidnap Dr. Phlox to find a cure. But after Hoshi gets melded and Reed gets thrown in the brig, the rest of the crew chase down a Rigelian ship and find the Entrepreneur has been sabotaged. What could push us into the physical-media lifestyle? Who is Trip Tucker’s Steve Stevens? Where do lady captains need to be careful? It’s the episode that’s going through some changes.

When a Klingon transport is destroyed and the diaspora becomes the topic of debate at the Academy, Jay-Den Kraag faces his fear of public speaking to make a case for Klingon autonomy. But after Captain Ake reunites with a warlord from her past and Admiral Vance lets him win his charity in battle, Jay-Den begins to recognize the new brother he has in Caleb Mir. Who probably started shaving in the fourth grade? What does two dads and one mom necessarily mean? Which sport needs more screaming? It’s the episode that’s spamming the universe with advertisements for Starfleet Academy.

When evidence reveals the drone pilot to be a white Andorian, Archer and Shran beam down to the polar region looking for the Aenar. But after building a telepresence chair right in the middle of sicksbay, the crew’s tests eventually reach Gareb and end the Romulan attack. Who’s not the easiest person to work with? Why are Ben and Adam never going back to the U.K.? What’s a great strategy for resigning from a job? It’s the episode that’s The Silmarillion for Hemmer.

When the War College students start pranking the Starfleet cadets, the adults in charge only add fuel to their fire. But after Darem fumbles as team captain and Caleb and Tarima get closer, the cadets end the prank war with only a little bit of lab-grown eye trauma. What do we not universally want to know? When is a backwards basketball shot required? Which movie will not be mined for drops? It’s the episode with a Paul Verhoeven shot.

When the Betazed president alphas Admiral Keeps-Sending-You-Dave-Ramsey-and-Tony-Robbins-Videos during negotiations to potentially rejoin the Federation, it becomes clear he may not be there to negotiate in earnest. But after the president’s daughter takes a liking to a Caleb, he may be able to save the negotiations as long as he doesn’t goo everywhere first. Which dead actor is living on? How was BART rebranded? Which cadet is jacked like a WWE superstar? It’s the episode that forgot everyone’s name.

When Shran’s girlfriend dies at a Tellarite’s hand, the avenging of her death could ruin their alliance so Archer cuts in to end the duel honorably. But after Trip and Reed get trapped and irradiated, they blow up the damn ship and escape back to the Entrepreneur. Whose advice should always be followed? What is Admiral Gardener’s secret identity? Who never skips face day at the gym? It’s the episode that wanted more gash and Narg.

When a failure of Starfleet justice makes a sad little slickback out of Caleb, his escape kicks off a 15-year crime spree and all he wants is to find his mom. But after Captain Ake gets reinstated as the chancellor of Starfleet Academy, Caleb’s transmission to mommy reignites an old beef with Nus Braka. Who’s the only person in Hollywood with a thriving career? Where are dirty clothes stored on the Athena? Which character is all green felt and wood inlays? It’s the episode that saved the fly around for the end.

When Shran’s ship gets blown up and the Entrepreneur is nearby to help, the mutual distrust between Tellarites and Andorians simmers over before trade talks can begin. But after the crew uncovers evidence that the marauding ship can shapeshift, Talas gets shot and Trip and Reed get left behind. What’s the Amish-style 69? How many ways can Babel be pronounced? Where do Andorians bust from? It’s the episode that’s Great, not Grawful.

When the plague has to wait for some mandatory quasar research, the Suburban of shuttles is launched only to crash with seven crew members aboard. But after they leave the shuttle and get attacked by big foots and oversized spears, Spock’s final act of desperation leads to a redemption of his leadership style. Where is help never far away? What’s the difference between TOS and TNG shuttles? Who is so Bosch? It’s the episode that makes Disco shuttles look more accurate.