GreatestGenBot

When the Entrepreneur gets off course with a theatre troupe, the real reason for the diversion is the lead actor might be Trogdor. But after the last remaining witnesses are eliminated one by one, Captain Kirk’s interest in the young daughter of Karidian ends in another theatrical tragedy. When do you get “the executioner” added to your name? How many colony survivors are rocking full face? Who might sneak into a Sesame Street impression? It’s the episode that introduces a new first-time segment!

When the Uxbridge-Shimoda company holds its first annual holiday party, everyone is invited and attendance is not optional. But after sharing a festive cocktail and suggesting attractive new possibilities for Lego, we’ll either bring back punch bowls or play a round of good keg, bad keg. What would constitute a very special episode of Factory Seconds? How does egg nog get weaponized? Where does Bill want to put his AP style book? It’s the episode that goes boldy!

When Archer and T’Pol find the Syrannites in the caves, they reunite with Mrs. T and learn T’Pau wasn’t the United Earth Embassy bomber. But after Archer tells the Syrannites that he’s carrying Surak’s katra, he leads them to an important ancient relic while the High Command threatens war. How is Ben like T’Pau? Which type of prison cell feels like a very Vulcan idea? What’s the main thing that keeps Adam out of cults? It’s the episode that’s fascinated by the idea of going full torch.

When the Menagerie arc winds down, a Mug Draft winner rises. But after losing the Mug Draft, a shocking realization threatens to change how we feel about this competition forever. What’s the title of Ben’s new documentary? Which mug is the Michael B. Jordan here? Do you want the winning mug for yourself? It’s the episode that both loves and hates this shit.

When the United Earth Embassy gets blown up on Vulcan, an investigation begins and Dr. Phlox sniffs out the fake evidence right away. But after Archer and T’Pol go into danger looking for the wrong suspect, a mind meld by Soval reveals the identity of the real bomber. Where else could that one laurel go on the flag? What does GTL stand for on Vulcan? Which tortured holiday portmanteau works better? It’s the episode that opened a FOIA request.

When a private sub-space message is “delivered” to the Enterprise, Kirk and Co. make their way to Star Base 11. But when Spock takes this opportunity to abduct captain Pike and the ship, there’s no TAL-ing what can happen. Is this Spock from an alternate Trek timeline? Will Bones address the elephant on the bridge? Can Pike scratch that itch? It’s the episode that doesn’t say “fire” but leaves its finger on the button.

When Dr. Soong wants to hide all of his augments in the Briar Patch, Malik pitches a plan to start a war between the Klingons and Starfleet. But after Persis continues to play both sides by helping Soong escape to the Entrepreneur’s brig, Malik decides to blow up the Bird of Prey leaving only one family member to serve time. Who was the older brother Ben needed growing up? What is Soong’s record? Which upgrade comes with a premium hole saw? It’s the episode with a bad bit moment that gets off on a technicality. 

When Kirk and co. stumble upon an unavoidable-glowing-cube-boi they get stuck in an awkward spot. But when Balok toys with the way The Enterprise normally handles new encounters, it’s time to see what the alien looks like and escape the tractor beam. Is Spock too cool for school? What’s that big ear-spring? Have Halloween decorations improved? It’s the episode that gives you a Howard over the wrong frequency!

When Dr. Soong’s augments arrive at Cold Station 12 and continue their mission to unfreeze dangerous shit, Archer meets up with a Lennie Aug and convinces him to help kick the frozen can further down the road. But after the away team beams into a hostage situation, Soong extracts the codes from Richard Riehle and the augments leave everyone on the station to die. What’s a great errand at a great time? How is Ben like Arik Soong? Which side is Persis on? It’s the episode that got unexpectedly arc’d.

When a cargo exchange with a penal colony puts a clever escapee aboard the Entrepreneur, Bones is suspicious of the famous Doctor Adams and pressures Captain Kirk to investigate. But after beaming down with Dr. Noel and jumping into the lobotomy recliner himself, Kirk resists interrogation and Adams learns exactly why his treatment is a failure. What’s the best way to avoid a workplace accident? Which word is particularly remarkable in an Australian accent? How does a photocopier need to be cleaned? It’s the episode with a very dangerous dimple.

When a Klingon Bird-of-Prey brings aboard a couple of disheveled humans, their ass-kicking and ship-stealing behavior has the High Council super pissed. But after Starfleet figures out who these augmented augments are, the Entrepreneur picks up Dr. Arik Soong and brings him along on their mission to avert a war. How is Captain Archer like a UPS driver? Which character has a cry-after-sex vibe? What’s an extremely bad sign in a holding cell? It’s the episode that missed its one chance to ask a Soong about a Singh.

When the Entrepreneur receives an SOS from an exact copy of Earth, the only question that interests the crew is whether anyone might still be alive. But after the away team kills a zombie and meets some kids who are hundreds of years old, they become infected and have to work out a cure to make it out of quarantine in time. Is there a correct number of mugs? How does a flat Earth captain orbit a planet? What could be considered assault on a playground in Los Feliz? It’s the episode where years of experience doesn’t make anyone smarter.