Goadstool

I feel a little confused as to why more people don't seem to do it. Apparently you can get like $200-300 a week and it seems like there are no serious short term or long term side effects, but I feel like I must be missing something.

Everyone only wants to talk about how powerful the characters are, but I care much more about the tasty jams. As most of you will have no idea what the absolute fuck I'm talking about, allow me to preface my explanation of this list by providing the context that in Street Fighter 6 Capcom actually decided to get daring and give all the characters new theme music, instead of just remixing their SF2 themes for the thousandth time. This has, of course, made many absolute nerds very mad, but I think it's quite excellent, and while of course their classic themes are awesome, it's possible to appreciATE NEW THINGS TOO YOU FUCKING LOSERS, STOP GIVING NOSTALGIA SO MUCH WEIGHT IN YOUR MIND, YOU ARE LITERALLY RUINING EVERYTHING BY INSISTING ON SEEING THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER AND OVER YOU GODDAMN ASSHO so I'm not going to be comparing any character's music to their old music, though I will certainly have comments about the comparison for a few when I come to them. Also I'm not married to the particular order these are in within their tiers. Alright let's get to it!

EXCELLENT:

• Ryu's theme fuckin' slaps. Many people have pointed out that it doesn't really fit Ryu very well, and even though his character arc in SF6 has him in a place of significantly less struggle than usual, I do agree that it's still just a little too groovy for our handsome yet stiff boy. Regardless, it fucking owns and every time it plays, I am groovin' the whole time.

• Ken's theme is also amazing, and it fits Ken quite a lot better than Ryu's fits him. It's more dire, intense, and a little sad, which all suits Ken being down and out in this sequel. The worst thing I can say about this theme is that Ken is insanely popular right now so you end up hearing this theme a LOT, but that's not exactly the music's fault. Also the utilization of his old theme for the "critical health" portion of his new theme (at 2:48 in the length of the video) is the hypest shit ever - it gives you a taste of his awesome classic theme without leaning on nostalgia too hard.

• Manon's theme is a perfect example of music that gets you jammin' and suits the character's personality perfectly. It's poppy and boisterous and, since Manon is a new addition for SF6, it doesn't have to be bogged down by comparisons to older music. The breakdown (at 1:26 in the linked video) is smooth as fuck and it leads into the Round 3 portion so well.

• Rashid's theme is probably going to be one that anyone who's already familiar with the OST is going to be mad at me for, for a couple reasons - one being that it's experimental and kinda weird (also people love to shit on anything that sounds like jazz), but the most obvious reason being that everyone fucking LOVES his old theme SO GODDAMN MUCH and I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like I don't love to scream RAAAAASHIIIIDOOOOOOO but it's not music I wanna listen to all the goddamn time. It's the kinda song I only wanna hear once in a while, because it's too much hype to just be blasting on loop while I'm in the training room doing the arduous work of mastering a combo for fuckin' hours at a time. His new theme however grows on you more and more as you listen to it, without getting stale at all, and since I'm maining Rashid I appreciate that immensely. When I hit Master rank for the first time, though, I did go to youtube and blast the RAAAAASHIIIIDOOOOOOO in celebration, of course.

• A.K.I.'s theme is one that I have not heard anyone talk about, so I do not really know if people generally like or dislike it. A.K.I. is not a very popular character currently, but I love her weird design and I'm always a fan of poison mechanics in games - I wish her poison was more effective on its own, and not just a way to extend combos and stuff - but I fell in love with her music the second she was revealed, and was searching youtube every day for her theme to be uploaded on its own. The beat is meant to imitate the erratic, dwindling heartbeat of one of her poisoned victims, and that's just about the sickest shit ever.

GROOVIN':

• Kimberly's theme is the definition of groovy, and the beat fits her character perfectly. It did have to grow on me a little bit, but once it did it became one of my favorites. I love the round 3 portion (at 1:43 in the linked video) but that brings me to my sole criticism - for those who don't know, when Kimberly performs her level 3 super art, her usual music is replaced with some incredibly lame, generic-sounding shit that just smothers the goodness of her regular music, and that means you barely ever get to appreciate the best part of her theme music. Tragic!

• Cammy's theme is another one that fits the character quite well, it's intense and snappy, and it's like the sole consolation I get when I'm fighting her and she's spinning through my goddamn projectiles to cave my dumb face in. Yet another one where the round 3 drop (at 2:18) hits HARD.

• Zangief's theme definitely had to grow on me a little. When I started playing SF6 (didn't really play SF before this one) I was terrified of fighting Zangief, but he turned out to be one of the most fun opponents to play against, so in the same way Zangief grew on me, so too did his theme. It's not the most hype-building theme to me, but I do find myself grooving along with various parts during matches all the time. Also, I mean, come on, Zangief is just a huge communist gym-bro - I gotta rank our colossal red boy high regardless.

• Blanka's theme grew on me the most of all of them - I fuckin' hated this song at first. Like, I played Blanka for like a week and a half and had to mute the in-game music hated it. But I dunno, after hearing it for the 50th time something kinda snapped in me, and I came to appreciate the upbeat, semi-directionless vibe of it, and round 3 (at 3:19) is triumphant in a really fun way. Another hot Street Fighter take I have is that I do not hate Blanka (how the fuck do people complain about this character when Guile exists??).

IT'S AIGHT:

• Dee Jay's theme is one that I guess I might catch a lot of flak for putting this "low" on the list, but I dunno... it is good, but it just never really peaks. My favorite part is the critical health portion (at 3:09) because it's somehow simultaneously distressing yet soothing, and also just groovy as fuck - I always wish it didn't only play when someone is low health, because I always want it to last longer. Gotta say though, Dee Jay is the poster-boy for SF6's amazing character design, they did him so right overall.

• Luke's theme is alright. It's not bad. I fuckin' hate Luke. But the theme is okay. I don't really groove on it much, but it's fine. But I fucking hate Luke. Fuck this dumb zoomer-baiting piece of market-pandering shit and his dumb face and his dumb hair cut. But his music is alright. Doesn't really suit the character but that's good because the character sucks. Fuck Luke. Gonna love it when he Fortnite-dances his way to getting nerfed / outscaled.

• Jamie's theme strikes me almost exactly the same way as Luke's. It's okay, but I also hate Jamie. I hate his dumb face even more than Luke. He looks like the guy who listens to music way too loudly on the bus when everyone is coming home from work, tired as shit and just trying to get through the last little indignity of their day before they go home and relax for like half an hour before they have to do chores until they go to bed and do it all again the next day. Fuck Jamie. I'm gonna hate it when he gets buffed. But the theme is okay, whatever. Doesn't do much for me but it's not bad. Normally I like a disco-vibe, but meh.

• Chun Li's theme is also alright - I do feel like it suits the character, but it's just kind of forgettable to me. I keep forgetting what it even sounds like, which is not a great sign. If she was played more often, I feel like it might grow on me more, but she's just not that popular because she's difficult to execute. I do love Chun Li though, as a good cop she's sort of a like a unicorn - only exists in fantasy.

• Honda's theme also had to grow on me, but I do like it possibly more than any other in this tier. It suits his goofy-ass personality very well and the strumming gets my head boppin' every time. Much like Blanka, I do not hate fighting Honda like a lot of people do, especially when there's...

• Guile's theme is the only time I'm going to complain about a theme in comparison to its old iteration, because how the fuck could I not? How do you go from THAT to this? But I still won't let that comparison effect its place on this tier list - the real reason it's here is because it just kinda sounds like menu music. Flat as fuck to me, but the opening to round 3 (at 1:11) gets me moving every time, so there's at least something going for it. Fuck fighting Guile though, I goddamn hate him. Turtling piece of shit holds all the cards. SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO FIGHT GUILE WHEN ALL HE HAS TO DO IS CROUCH AND WAIT. AAAAAAAAAA

I FEEL NOTHING:

• JP's theme is just kinda generic boss music. It doesn't really feel like boss fight music, it just sounds like the music that leads up to the boss fight, like it's what should be playing when he's delivering his epic bad-guy monologue before you fight him. I do jam on the round 3 opening sometimes, but overall it's just kinda there. I do like JP as a character however, good villain. His default outfit is awful though.

• Dhalsim's theme is fine. It suits Dhalsim, but no one cares about Dhalsim except for trolls who play Dhalsim. Dhalsim is not a real character. He is an annoyance that you don't rematch in casuals as you tell yourself "I'll learn this fight when I goddamn have to and not a fucking second sooner." I just don't really feel much with this one.

• Lily's theme is also fine - please understand that I do not hate any theme in this tier. It suits the character very well, and I love the character, I'm looking forward to when they buff her a little. But sorta like Dee Jay's theme, it just doesn't really hit a peak that gets me groovin' ever. Might grow on me more over more time though.

PLS STOP:

• Juri's theme is just kinda - holy shit why the fuck does this one have SO MANY VIEWS? Okay, I guess this is a hot take then, but her theme is just really grating to me, I suppose in that sense it suits the character, but her theme just kinda sounds like noise to me, overall. The only other thing I have to say is that the loud clack of Juri's candy striking her teeth in her victory screen makes me physically cringe every time I hear it.

• Marisa's theme is literally just car commercial music. The most charitable thing I can say about it is that it also kind of reminds me of Advance Wars music, but the OST is one of the last things I like about that game. Also Marisa is the character I thought to be afraid of Zangief for, just dumb damage. I don't care how complex she actually is, there's nothing more lame than getting your health bar obliterated from a mid-screen combo off of a single whiff punish. Still not nearly as annoying as Guile though.

Alright that's my SF6 music tier list. Time to upload this huge post and get 5 upbears.

I guess it's gettin' swept up by the algorithm, but I liked it

Alright, hear me out. I've been on a diet for several years now, and I've lost over 150 lbs. Part of the key to my success is having a variety of low / zero calorie things that I drink, perhaps most importantly including one sugarless energy drink per day. What makes them work within the context of my diet is that they're very flavorful, and take a very long time to drink relative to stuff like water, tea, soda, etc., and drinking them over that long period suppresses my appetite for the duration.

But I don't want, or need the "energy." And I sure don't need the heart palpitations, either. So basically, I am looking for "energy" drinks in terms of intensity of flavor, but without all the stuff that makes them "energy" drinks.

While looking I've seen some that are caffeine free, but they're still "energy" drinks. Do you guys think being caffeine free alone is enough to lessen the strain on my body?

And before anyone mentions drinking water: I DO drink water. I drink at least two liters every day. But just sitting here chugging water all day doesn't quiet the unceasing scream in my brain that tells me to eat an entire family's worth of food in one sitting.

You are not a "boomer" if you aren't in your twenties. You are not irrelevant if you aren't in your twenties. You don't go straight from being a kid to being "old". Stages of life are fluid and vary for each person, and should be savored to the fullest of your means to do so.

Stop letting internet memes about age, height, and general state of being have an actual impact on your mental health. They mean nothing, and don't benefit you in any material way.

edit 1 part 1: this is the worst comment section I've even seen in any Hexbear thread in all my years, except for @Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net who is as always the best of us

edit 1 part 2: generationalism is also made up, don't let people put you into boxes and further don't put yourself into a box that someone else made up for you

Hello Hexbear! Though I have never left the site and have been posting alongside you all (federation has been incredibly entertaining for good and for bad reasons), I am now going to make yet another Kor-related post! For anyone who doesn't have context, about a year and a half ago I released an indie RPG called Kor and eagerly shared it with my favorite community on the interwebs, to very kind reception.

And for the first time ever, I'm going to a convention this weekend to share the game in-person. There will be a booth with a demo, some modest displays, and I'll be there to talk to people about it.

Why the heck am I telling you guys this? Well, basically to ask a little favor! I need to spruce up my game as much as I can! So... if you bought Kor on Steam at any point, and you never reviewed it, it would help me immensely if you went and gave it a little positive review. It doesn't have to be depthful or meaningful, it can be a joke, or literally anything, I just need to get the positive number as high as I can. Anything helps when you're not a beast with a thousand maws like Activision or whatever.

As always, if anyone wants to play my game but can't afford it, DM me and I'll try to get you a steam key to play it for free!

The dasher app is coded to drop you from contention for higher paying orders if your average rating is less than 4.7 stars.

Idk who even needs to hear this but seems like an important thing for anyone using doordash to know.

Are people like me - for whom every moment spent thinking about the need for money is a moment spent in anguish - just not supposed to exist?

Apparently the question asked was: "What do I do if my girlfriend is dumb?"

My jaw dropped multiple times reading this. Just holy shit, dude. I felt like the only way to regain any sanity afterwards was to share it here to let Hexbear roast this loser.