I was talking about the hypothetical scenario where you gave it to them and were miffed it didn't go towards food, so I agree 100% with what you're saying. Don't give your money away if you can't afford to let someone else do what they want with it.
A lot of people don't mind giving someone something they need without placing conditions on it. But it's okay to be different.
This reads like she was living outside of her means and recently was forced to return to her financial reality, and is framing it as a choice she made lol