FUCKRedditMods

Insert south park mouth noises

I cant tell if you’re piling on with my joke or if you’re being the joke police, because my first downvote came right when you commented.

Either way I take offense to the accusation.

Maybe it’s just late, but this one-two punch of randomness and absurdity just got me good. Still giggling.

What half the planet’s cities might look like in 100 years at the rate shit is disintegrating around us

I’m 84 and she’s 16

I hate that evolutionary part of me that cares about having sex/a mate so much that I actually allow myself to become depressed based on the goddamn preferences of one person.

For years the only happiness I’ve found has been by removing myself from the market entirely and just writing off the notion of being with someone, a “with no hope/expectations there is no letdown” kind of thing.

I was carrying on just fine like this until I got a beautiful new coworker a few months ago who laughs at even my worst jokes like it’s going out of style. Alas though I’m sure she likes me I know I’m too old for her so here I am just unusually unhappy in my solitude for the first time in years. Ugh, is it time to get on tinder? I fucking hate the whole enterprise of dating.

How does he even do it? It’s like he’s on a zealous crusade to embarrass himself. I keep thinking “he can’t look any more foolish and shitty” and he fuckin KEEPS proving me wrong. It’s almost impressive at this point. He stays setting new PR for negative PR.

You probably meant fervently or feverishly (which may be even funnier)

Stop it I can only giggle so hard

Reddit was in that sweet spot from like 2008-2013

I remember the early days where if you found a fellow redditor in the wild it was novel and fun. It felt like we’d found the best thing since sliced bread, and most people still hadn’t heard of it. I never was into the “narwhal bacon” shit, but I definitely had a couple fun interactions overhearing strangers talking about posts and asking (comedically/exaggeratedly) “are you a.. REDDITORE?!”