I really hope you can talk to your partner about some of this and it's not festering away at you. If it's upsetting you it's important you're able to tell them how they're making you feel, being being constantly made to feel othered, it sounds dehumanising. The way I read it though, i'm hoping it's lighthearted and they're misunderstanding how frustrating it feels.
what it even means to be white, can be granted and retracted on a whim because it's all rooted in eugenics pseudoscience. if it doesn't make sense, it's because it's fascist trash, it means everything and nothing all at once.
getting real caught up on some of this late last year, someone shared this piece with me that I found really interesting, it's probably not super helpful or whatever but i'm leaving it here cause I spent a while trying to find it.
https://samkriss.com/2020/06/10/white-skin-black-squares/
I dunno, it sucks and I probably couldn't do it (and I hate being reminded the principled thing to do is to say something, to combat liberalism), but I hope one day you can find it in yourself to 'respectfully' tell people when they dont know what they're fucking talking about.
I'm extremely white, I'm pretty close to not posting this because I could be really missing the mark, sorry if it's unhelpful, but you've only got a couple other comments and i'm battling insomnia.
be good to yourself comrade.
yes