Thank you so much for replying, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable with the question or it's phrasing.
I'm glad to hear it should be better than what I currently have!
EggInDisguise
joined 1 week ago
Sorry for the long rambling post everyone, I'm just feeling a lot of emotions right now and have a lot of things racing all over my brain.
And also sorry for the early edit, I wanted to add a little extra context, I accidentally misgendered my spouse (we're still both doing it to each other and luckily neither of us are getting upset yet), and rephrase some things.
I have been looking for things to help me with my fashion sense, how to measure everything properly, and how to style my hair and make it more curly.
I am far too self-conscious to try voice training right now, I literally cried last time I tried it because it's just so deep and if I just don't think about it when I talk to people I am mostly okay. I also don't have the funds (or a job currently) to start my transition, so it's basically just the clothing and some bra inserts for the foreseeable future.
Content warning: skip if you don't want to hear about dysphoria-inducing things.
I also don't plan on getting bottom surgery. If I ever do get the funds for hrt, I will be keeping my equipment. despite the dysphoria I feel when I see or feel a bulge in my clothing, I do want to keep the ability to have physical relations with my spouse with my own equipment, and that has also been a source of contention in my brain. Because how can I be trans if I don't even want to get bottom surgery... Several other trans women have assured me that also is not uncommon, though for many different reasons, and a couple had no plans of getting bottom surgery either.
All u need to do is push the "stuff" down so it's like horizontal and underneath if u get what I mean. No tape tucking required! U will get used to the feeling of this kind of "tucking" with time, and honestly at this point I feel uncomfortable when I'm not tucked down there.
I have a bit of a personal question, so PLEASE feel free to not answer:
Are you on hrt? I have been having a lot of dysphoria surrounding my bulge day-to-day (not out, still boy mode unless I'm in my section of the house) and some of the underwear I've tried are either meant for "showers" that can tuck fully underneath without fear of shrinkage, or smaller ladies/people on hrt who are small enough to "push in" if you will.
I'm a grower, not on hrt (yet) and almost nothing short of taping has worked more than about half an hour, except a single pair of panties I have that's a little too small in the legs for my thighs. And taping every day is not only expensive but probably also not healthy for everything. Tape keeps it all smooth and in place. The underwear leaves enough space that the girls shift around and cause a bulge to appear and I can not only feel it but I can see it every time I step even if nobody else notices.
So I've been on the lookout for something to help me out there.
Here's the thing that pisses me off most: in highschool I had the range of a soprano and sang in choir, did musical theater. Over the few years after graduating my voice dropped lower and I couldn't hit the high notes anymore (and nobody I knew would understand why that made me cry)
I enjoy singing, and do so in the shower every day, but my range is low tenor nowadays.
Maybe I need to find songs that I like that are just ever so slightly too high to be comfortable?
Idk but whatever works, I DO want to have the voice I imagine in my head. I just have a breakdown any time I sit down and try to practice.