It sucks, but I'm my experience, the faster you cut these people from your life, the faster you will make genuine connections.
Imagine if you brought this friend around the queer community. Nobody would risk being your friend because you are connected with this asshole.
Cut him out. Make new connections. Move on. Be happy.
1-2x per month for douching? Damn. I've been doing 1-2x per week.
What's the problem with douching?