CrowAirbrush

I was a silly goose once, expecting people to show up for my birthday...so i ordered 3 cakes.

We ended up eating all 3 in 2 days with just the two of us.

There's always something coming in and going out, something different every other second.

My previous doc already noticed hyper awareness, but he had me talk about things that trouble me and doing that kicks it in overdrive.

End result: i got some anti psychotics and pointed out the door asap, it felt like i said something wrong for a singke second that made the therapists employer go: "nope, not today buddy. Strike 3, you're out."

That medication made me so tired but man did the silence help, i felt like i could breathe for once without being interrupted. It had me sleeping 14h a day AND taking naps the moment i got to sit still for a minute.

I have difficulty bringing across what is going on which makes it feel impossible to let people know how and what is going on, making therapy useless as they'll just decide: "this is going nowhere".

We have a local place a couple cities over (013 in Tilburg) tickets usually are like €32 and large beer is €6 (i usually do well on 2) so that makes it €44 for a live performance from a band i actually enjoy (some pretty big names show up here).

Now of only i could still function for the two remaining workdays after a concert there, i would still go there.

But i'm probably getting old because it completely cripples me until after the weekend. Which is too high of a price as it puts my job at risk.

I wish i could endure that. I'd go nuts without my hobby's i drop the moment they require any effort.

90% of my furniture comes from them, at least it's repairable and high quality.

A million times better than what the average person buys nowadays

Ads are out of control, they fill my day.

My home, my rules. Ads are not allowed on the devices i BOUGHT.

99% of the targeted ads i get tend to be targeted at someone who has a family and makes 3 times my wage, so you're wasting business resources for your own gain and wasting my time by serving them to me.

So fuck off outta my house.

I used duolingo to learn Italian, nothing ever stuck...so i decided to ad in Italian shows and movies. Didn't help either, i think my storage must be filled up or faulty.

I never saw this ad and i tell you it took me until my fourth game before i found out about it...i was mind blown

Yeah and i didn't expect to work this hard for an ever decreasing buying power.

But here we are so fuck off.

Any social media that wants my ID becomes history, you got no business with it and i don't trust you with it either.

As of late i've been leaning towards things like: "i really wish we didn't have mobile phones" employers have been overstepping boundaries imo ever since we have them and i don't want any of that. I'm yours for 40 hours, everything else is mine.

Along with how every device now comes with ads with some bullshit excuse, i really don't need ads in my home i'm already bombarded with them everywhere i go.

I'm still one of those: "i love seeing peoples interests through well taken photos" instagram users, before every post was an "influencer". Now instagram is: ad, actual ad, ad, ad, ad, actual ad. How the hell did we let that happen and why are people still looking at it...at least i wish it was just looking, with all the goddamn loud music and nonsense audio jumbled into one big mess to raoe your ears even though it isn't even you looking at it but some brainrotten child in a mcdonalds.

I'm getting older and grumpier i guess. I should just learn to live with it.

Damn, i'm taking this xD

That's what i expected when it said "micro retirement"...something worthwhile like 6 months+