Hi gay friends in my computer 
I'm glad we're back. It was a long day with no bear site. I was like 4.5 days late with my last E shot and I feel it. Still have changed very little about my presentation but I did wear a flower crown to the bar last night which was fun.
less fun bits
I don't know how to adapt my presentation when I can barely hold my current (kinda shoddy) look together most days, I've got the worst dandruff you've ever seen, and I'm literally too large for like 95% of mens clothing let alone women's. It also doesn't help that I'm really not convinced I want to be a woman, only not a man, and that I've got some serious self-hatred about my body/weight. All the cool or attractive people I see I just think that I'm nothing like them and never will be.
Sometimes I wish I felt at all fulfilled with online interactions but I just don't. I've never been able to make lasting connections online.
I go out quite a bit just to keep from going stir crazy in my apartment, with some success, but it is stressful spending that whole time masking and performing A Gender (derogatory), and I don't have a lot to show for it...
Some acquaintances at places I'm a regular at, some nice memories with friends, a burning hole in my wallet, and a lot of lost free time that could have been used for self care (but wouldn't have either way so I guess there's no real loss there). It helps my mental health for sure, but only to a point.