Catatafish

joined 2 years ago
 

What runs but never walks, has a mouth, but never talks?

AnswerA river

 

What is greater then god,worse then the devil, poor people have it and rich people need it. What am I??

AnswerNothing.

 

Dynamite is a tool that can be used to cut down trees. To cut a tree 18 inches in diameter requires five sticks of dynamite: one on the north, south, east and west sides of the tree, and the fifth stick on the side to which the tree should fall. During construction of a dam, a tree 18 inches in diameter was completely covered by water. Since the treetop was fouling the boat's propellers, it had to be cut down. A diver went down and put a stick of dynamite on the four sides of the tree. Since the current is flowing south at 2 knots per hour, on which side of the tree would you instruct the diver to put the fifth stick of dynamite if you wanted the tree to fall north?

AnswerIt doesn't matter where the fifth stick is placed, since the tree won't fall in any direction. Being wood, it will float and rise to the surface.

 

A man told his son that he would give him $1000 if he could accomplish the following task. The father gave his son ten envelopes and a thousand dollars, all in one dollar bills. He told his son, "Place the money in the envelopes in such a manner that no matter what number of dollars I ask for, you can give me one or more of the envelopes, containing the exact amount I asked for without having to open any of the envelopes. If you can do this, you will keep the $1000." When the father asked for a sum of money, the son was able to give him envelopes containing the exact amount of money asked for. How did the son distribute the money among the ten envelopes?

AnswerThe contents or the ten envelopes (in dollar bills) should be as follows: $1, 2,4, 8, 16, 32,64, 128,256, 489. The first nine numbers are in geometrical progression, and their sum, deducted from 1,000, gives the contents of the tenth envelope.

 

what can be heard and caught but never seen ?

Answera remark

 

MR. SMITH AND HIS SON ARE DRIVING IN A CAR. THEY GET INTO A HORRIBLE ACCEDENT. MR. SMITH DIES INSTANTLY. MR. SMITH'S SON HOWEVER IS RUSHED TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. THE SURGEN SAID I CANNOT OPPORATE ON THIS CHILD BECAUSE HE IS MY SON. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

AnswerTHE SURGEN IS THE BOYS' MOTHER

 

There is a pink house made of bricks, a blue house made of bricks, an orange house made of bricks. What color bricks is a greenhouse made of What the miser spends and the spendthrift saves And all men carry to their graves?

AnswerA greenhouse is made of glass or plastic, not bricks

 

A champion weight lifter has a brother that's a doctor, but the same doctor doesn't have a brother. How are they related then?

AnswerThe champion weight lifter was a woman.

 

What get wet as it drys?

AnswerA towl

 

There are 5 fishes in the water.... 1 drowns.... How many fishes are left?

Answer5 becuase.... Fish can't drown!

 

MY NEIGHBOR MAKES MISTAKES I GET RID OF THEM

AnswerERASER

 

At dusk I come without being fetched.  At dawn I disappear without being stolen.  I'm a poet's tears and a sailor's guide. What am I ?

AnswerThey're in the night sky Stars

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