To the tune of Industry Baby:
He is a Babyman A stimkin man And sometimes he's a chimkin man. He's begging on his knees Mommy please Won't you give me zoppity"
He's a Sphynx. His name is Babyman, he's stinky, and when he acts a fool we call him Chimkin Man because he looks like an uncooked chicken flailing around the house.
Zoppity is his freeze-dried venison food, named after a reference from The Office. "Bippity boppity, give me the zoppity."
No one sits around a campfire telling stories to themselves. No one wants to have to put labour into their own entertainment time after work.