American "media," anything you might consume to learn what America "is" is pretty much pure propaganda. We really aren't anything to be admired or envied.
I share a similar feeling to you, being born in America and subjected to the brainwashing that happens in our schools that tells you we're 100% The Best People On Earth™©® and that we were always on the right side of history, only to grow up and find out that's a complete lie and we're often among the absolute worse humanity has to offer really messed with my head.
What America "is" is a collection of small, selfish groups (families) with very little interest in the well-being of people "different" from themselves, or different from their families, and all deeply disconnected from the realities of the wider world. Outside of that, we're a people ruled by the wealthiest in the world who are actively working to ruin anything Americans could possibly have any pride in having created in favor of increasing their individual wealth.
Individual Americans can be good people, but as a whole, this place is a dumpster fire masquerading as a paradise.
"I don't understand why you're dragging me here for this. Trump's mission for the DOJ is quite obvious. He gave us the explicit mission to protect him at all costs and to enact vengeance on his political enemies. What is so hard to get about that? I'm doing my job! Wait, what? The American people? What? Who the fuck cares about them?"