Nah. Conventional wisdom says he can either
Johnny's options will depend on his local wise man, but I suspect either way he'll also be strongly encouraged to buy some merch.
I sort of like snakes, but am hesitant to handle them because 1) they're wild creatures and therefore unpredictable and 2) I heard that they will poo on you if they're alarmed. I don't need that. It's more practical than visceral.
Spiders? Hell no. It's not even an option.
Most people I know fall on either one side or the other. It's not a bad ice-breaker or conversation starter.
So I've got some cats. They're small, but they can fuck up your day.
That being said, I rely on them solely as an early warning system. If I'm home alone and hear a strange sound that may be cause for alarm, I look for cats. If they're sleeping peacefully there's no external threat. If they can't be found, someone is nearby. It may just be the mail delivery, but they know when a human is in the vicinity.
I would say that the hair is the set of raccoons that hang out on the roof of the house and do weird shit at unexpected times.
I was going to say that The Servant wasn't that bad - particularly at the beginning.
Then I read the Wikipedia synopsis of the other one. Holy shit, that looks like a mess. May watch it anyway out of morbid curiosity and masochism.
That was how I was assuming the rationale went. You do see ocean going vessels on the Great Lakes.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Lawrence_Seaway
And I think that's how everyone wound up with the zebra mussels. (Bilge discharge from those ships)
I'm somehow more creeped out by the Greatest American Hero hairstyling.
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/the_greatest_american_hero/s01
Once you can wrap your head around Handshuhe, Fingerhut becomes obvious. "Ah, so this is how this is going to go."
Pippin has a hell of a fight face.
Have you ever wished that you were personal friends with a 16th century French petty nobleman and diplomat? His essays are more interesting and more accessible than that sounds.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_de_Montaigne
I trusted my drug dealer's recommendation on that one and was not disappointed, so I'm passing it on.
Also, I will never not recommend Pliny the Younger's account of his uncle's death by volcanic eruption (Vesuvius) and his own story of surviving it. PDF versions are widely available.
hefty price
If this is the guy I'm thinking of, he's doing both.
Extreme workouts, diets, medical interventions (blood transfusions, etc.), general body weirdness that would be classed as some variety of anorexia nervosa if he were younger and poorer, and a regimen of pills. He's selling the pills.
Oh, and ladies? He's looking to to reenter the dating market. I guess that's neither here nor there, but for some reason he's available!!!
I think there may have been a joke in there.
Or maybe not.