AernaLingus

(Ashita no Joe Episode 31)

too good to be true, I'm afraid: it's a satire account (transphobic shit in the replies, so tread with caution)

Didn't see it before it got removed, but I assume this is the video:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZiIIK7TyQl0

I have downloaded a total of one (non-manga) comic from there, but MyAnonamouse (private tracker for ebooks and audiobooks) has a decent few and it's easy to join with just a quick interview--much less gatekeepy than most private trackers. Just read through the rules and requirements on the invite page and you'll be fine.

This is somehow even dumber than Paul Ryan liking Rage Against the Machine. I could see a dumbass like Ryan tuning out RATM lyrics as just general aggressive fuck you energy while you jam out to the riffs and Morello's guitar doodling. In contrast, literally the entire verses of "Rockin' in the Free World" are about how terrible America is in pretty plain language, and there's not a whole lot else going on musically to distract from them.

But even worse than that is the spin from that thread:

He sang an old song criticizing his own government, in a country that freely allows its own citizens to do that, but which is under threat of being taken over by a country which routinely sends political dissidents to Siberian prison camps to die. Or just pushes them out 10th floor windows.

People on reddit: "wow, seems tone deaf"

Motherfucker, he IS the government! He's either dumb (it's this one) or he fully understands the song and is in essence taunting people! Beyond parody.

Video of the performance courtesy of the Guardian, which helpfully points out that

The song was written by Young after he was denied an opportunity to perform in the Soviet Union.

lmao, yes, this is definitely the most important context to give about the song. Also it's worded ambiguously in a way that makes it sound like he was specifically barred from performing in the Soviet Union, but the source I found for that (quoting Neil Young's guitarist) doesn't imply anything of the sort:

We were on the road with the Los Dogs in 1989. I was riding on Neil’s bus at the time. I was his cook on the bus, so we were hanging out 24/7. All this stuff was going down with the Ayatollah. I don’t know if you remember that footage of them passing the casket along over the heads of thousand and thousands of people.

There was a lot of “Hate America” demonstrations and we were supposed to do this exchange. We were going to Russia for the first time. It was a cultural exchange. They were getting us in exchange for the Russian Ballet. [Laughs] And it just fell through. Neil was like, “Damn, I really wanted to go.” I said, “Me too. I guess we’ll have to keep on rockin’ in the free world.” He was like, “Wow, that’s a cool line.” Then I said it again later and he said, “That’s a really good phrase. I wanna use it.”

I never owned an Nintendo 64, but most of my earliest video game memories were playing N64 at other people's houses--Super Mario 64, Super Smash Bros., Mario Kart 64, and GoldenEye (plus the required Blockbuster Pokémon Snap kiosk experience). It really wasn't all that much time in total, since it was more a sporadic encounters rather than a friend whose house I'd go to regularly, but I still have a few specific fond memories.

The Game Boy Color has a special place in my heart because it was my first console, and I actually still have my original one nearly 25+ years later (although I lost my cute Pikachu carrying case, sadly). I actually only ever had two games for it because my mom confiscated it and lost it (or "lost" it perhaps); I found it years later behind some cookie sheets in the kitchen. Even though I only had it for a short time, it was my first real taste of video games and it grabbed hold of my imagination. It evokes that deep nostalgia that kinda makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry.

Never had a Game Boy Advance, but while the GBA SP is the more practical pick I honestly prefer the original GBA in purple aesthetically and ergonomically. If I ever get one it'll be one of those with a modded screen (I remember my friend trying to play dark-ass Castlevania: Circle of the Night on an original GBA and holy shit was it impossible to see anything).

The GameCube was my first home console, and easily the one I played on the most out of any console to this day. It's the one I had the most games for and has so many cherished memories--playing Pikmin with my dad on Christmas morning (I think the only game we've ever played together to this day), countless afternoons and sleepovers playing Melee and Soul Calibur II with the boys, yahooing my way through Sunshine, learning how relaxing games could be with Animal Crossing...this is the console that really made me into a gamer, seeking out new experiences and reading Nintendo Power cover-to-cover.

If I had to pick a console for pure aesthetic and ergonomic perfection, it'd be the Nintendo DS--specifically the DS Lite (the OG is pretty ugly, let's not kid ourselves). It's got an incredible library, of course (some of the games I enjoyed the most at the time were SM64DS, all three Castlevanias, Nintendogs, and Animal Crossing: Wild World, to name a few), one that I'm still working through to this day, but even apart from that the DS Lite is a work of art and a joy to play with. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age.

I've had other Nintendo consoles since then, but none of them have nearly as deep a place in my heart as the three I had in my most formative years. If I only had to pick one, my mind says DS for the endless library, but my heart says GameCube for the comfy nostalgia...

(oh yeah, and if we're talking pure modern practicality I'd go Wii U for the perfect GC+Wii compatibility plus emulators for most of the other stuff I'd want to play. PC/phone can handle the remainder)

But snails are friends

Link to the report

My therapist actually just floated the possibility that I have AvPD in our last session, and while I haven't been formally diagnosed, it fits like a glove and would explain a lot. Without getting into too many details, I'm in a pretty similar situation to you. In my case, I had a fairly normal childhood--didn't deal with it until I suffered through years of severe untreated depression as a teen--and while I don't honestly believe I'll ever get back to my original level of functioning, I still think I can find happiness even if it'll look a lot different than I once imagined. I'm also down to basically two friends (my childhood best friend and his partner) who I will maybe exchange messages with a few times a month if I'm not in the midst of a months-long ghosting spell. It's important to acknowledge small victories (e.g. I used to basically never answer the phone up until a few years ago, and now I almost never let friends and family go to voicemail).

I can definitely empathize with feeling like a leech or a waste--it's a constant battle for me. I think leftist politics have helped me a lot with this, actually, since I realized that a lot of the people I know who get a lot of praise and are supposedly "successful" and "productive" are actively making the world a worse place: investment bankers, management consultants, insurance executives, corporate lawyers, defense contractors, etc.. I at least can take some solace in knowing that I do make a small but positive difference in my tiny sphere of influence and don't leave much of an impact otherwise. Shifting perspectives can be helpful: if you imagine yourself as a friend with the same disability, would you berate them or call them a waste?

My focus right now is to try to find joy in my interests and work on basic personal care to improve my quality of life. Progress can seem glacial, but the process of learning an instrument and understanding & making music has brought some meaning back to my life and given me something to value about myself besides fitting into a societal mold. I know this isn't accessible to everyone, but I've also found group therapy to be helpful, since I can talk with peers who are also going through the same struggles. It's nice because I can be a mentor to some of the younger folks, get some social contact with people who aren't going to judge me, and remind myself that there are other people in this world who care about me.

And yeah, I want to acknowledge how twisted it is to want to form deep bonds with people while being pathologically terrified of the same and doing everything to prevent that from actually happening. Like, with my childhood best friend, there have been multiple times where I've actively hoped that this time would be the last straw so he would finally give up on me and be rid of this nuisance in his life. How fucked up is that? Thanks brain, very cool!

Sorry, I feel like this took on a bit of a lecturing tone which wasn't my original intention. I just want to remind you that no matter what messages you may get from our fucked-up society, you have intrinsic value as a person and your disorder is not your fault.

I remember our yard absolutely teeming with tent caterpillars as a little kid. Cute little guys--I remember I'd pet them because they were soft and fuzzy. I did freak out when I discovered their defense mechanism: vomiting up their stomach contents, which manifested as a green or red bubble the size of their heads. I thought I'd accidentally squished them at first and was really upset!

Where are you seeing that? I just checked the latest OECD data which gives the following figures for suicides per 100,000 persons:

14.1 United States
12.4 Australia
10.5 Canada

The original proposal, for reference

Yeah, making the right section a solid color completely throws off the balance of the flag, and you lose the symbolism of snow, forests, and water. Kinda baffling, but I guess that's the problem with design by committee--you end up with something just bland enough to pass a vote.

Still leagues better than the state emblem slapped on a blue background, so it's progress I suppose