AddLemmus

GP and therapist also said that methylphenidate is the way to go, without alternative, even. But the psychiatrist said that for adults, lisdexamfetamine is slightly better, both regarding best effect and lowest side effects. A quick web search seems to support that, as well as what people in this community, who tried both, said.

One disadvantage is the insurance: If I try some day to have it covered, it's quite likely that they insist to pay only for the cheaper methylphenidate, and only switch if there are significant problems.

I found this German source for dosage and finding the right medication very good: https://www.adxs.org/de/page/232/eindosierung-von-medikamenten-bei-adhs#content-241-elvanse-lisdexamfetamin

I can relate to the paralysing "what ifs".

I started with 5 mg, which had a significant, great effect for 4 hours, then crash. I worked up from there and think that 12 mg is the right one for now.

I followed this guide in German, and agree from experience that starting with 30 mg or even 20 mg is not a good idea: https://www.adxs.org/de/page/232/eindosierung-von-medikamenten-bei-adhs#content-241-elvanse-lisdexamfetamin

Interesting is their take that the right window +/- 5 mg must be hit, otherwise too low of an effect or very unpleasant side effects.

For Modafinil, I also went with 1/8th of a normal dose for a while, working up over months to 1/2.

I noticed that I can be a bad friend, at times. Need to unload for hours, too impatient to listen, and when I do it out of politeness, I won't pay attention.

With some friends, I suspect that they just have the pity to be like ChatGPT, like "That's so relatable!", "Wow, that IS an interesting day you had there!", "So funny! Glad I missed South Park to listen to your much funnier ramblings!"

At times, I had a like-minded friend, and we would just take turns talking for roughly the same duration, like an unspoken agreement.

It's actually the normies who can't even do laundry without a little neurotransmitter bottle from mommy frontal cortex. We fight demons every day.

First test: 5 mg (~ 15% of 30 mg) at 8:30 am.

It kicked in really hard, like a thick line of quality speed. It didn't feel like something that a doctor would prescribe. Got a lot done, then hard crash at 12:30, lying down and dozing off for 20 minutes. The mental effect was at least as good as it was with Modafinil: I tackled the most urgent todo without mental effort and little chores just "happened". But with a high like from recreational drugs.

Maybe what contributed was that I did a quick, but intense workout.

So it was perfect - a very safe dose, yet also the productivity boost I needed for the day. 10 mg might also have been fine, but taking the entire 30 mg (or even 20) would have been a mistake. Certainly no risk to not feel anything.

I wonder if I should take another 2.5 mg for the afternoon, or just use tea and coffee as usual.

This strange effect regarding intensity and duration was no surprise - I observed that with other medication and drugs before, the doctor understood it and took it into account, thus the individualised instructions.

I don't know why he does what he does, but he said that I should find the ideal dose, which often is between two capsule sizes. He encouraged me to take any dose lower than 30 mg for the first month, and after he sees me again to fine tune it by dissolving in water.

I dissolved it in some water in a protein shaker with marks, so I can take exact 3 mg doses (10 % steps).

Only thing I don't like about this is that children are in the house, and there should not be deadly poison water standing around anywhere. The capsules are in a lockbox.

When that happens, I do manage to finish the sentence by appending grammatically correct tokens, like an LLM, though

Thanks! I'll play it safe and would rather start with 5 than 10 mg.

Not sure if related, but I have absolutely no problem getting things in the household done when I'm voicechatting with a friend. Odd as it is, videos that don't require watching while listening (e. g. youtubers that just talk into the camera) also work, but podcasts don't (must be mental).

When I can't get my "fix", no friends with time online and no interesting video of that type, I end up searching for it so long that I get too little sleep, rather than just do the 15 minutes work without.

I think it should work exactly like the fire department. Entirely tax funded, no hassle. A hospital is, in my eyes, more similar to a fire department or a police station than it is to a super market, and that's how it should work.

But it only works well all-in. A strange system of compromises forged between parties with entirely opposing views over 50 years is terrible.

Most recent example: Started freelancing in July again, got to pay nearly 1k per month. First money received is EUR 4400 end of September.

I tried the alternative route last time, and it's no fun: Write in certified mail that I make less and need a lower rate, they'll ignore it, say they didn't get anything, I'm not insured any more. Go to a lawyer with the proof of certified mail, win, get the lower rate and they have to pay back medical bills, EUR 500 lawyer costs though. Have to pay back 1k per month anyway if it turns out I make enough in the last few months of the year, so it was all for nothing.