AcidSmiley

No. Chasing is defined by inherently transphobic sexual objectification and tokenization of trans women, not by dating trans women repeatedly. Some trans women out there will have an attitude towards the subject that mostly reflects their self hatred and their inability to see themselves as desirable, with a very strong undercurrent that only cis or perfectly cis passing women could be of any sexual value to straight men. To them, it will be inherently suspicious if somebody even knows they are trans before they start dating and is still interested in them. The idea that "has dated more than one trans woman" is a valid definition of chaser comes mostly out of that mindset, and i must stress that this mindset in itself is both violently and brutally transphobic and doesn't even begin to capture the wide range of problematic and sometimes downright threatening behaviors exhibited by chasers.

Good to hear that the poly couch also exists in the US.

Finally, good representation of my body type

Yeah, when i think of trans eyes, the first thing that comes to mind is ~~how much i envy my gal pal's eyebrows~~ that joy of simply existing. I've been happy or ecstatic or cheerful in a lot of ways and i don't think i've ever felt anything purer than this feeling of "holy shit, i'm a girl, how amazing", and it's beautiful to recognize that in others.

Recognizing each others' pain is also part of t4t dating, it can absolutely be the kind of relationship you build on mutually caring for each other, but a great deal of that is how much joy and comfort we can give each other with how little effort. How the smallest gestures put things right. If there's one thing i should name what i like about dating trans women, it's how comforted i feel in another transfem's arms.

i mean, idk how they got there, but there's honestly no limit to how weird cis people can get about trans bodies and trans people's sexuality.

Yeah it's inherent to dysphoria-centric views of transness. When you define yourself through that, happyness becomes invalidating and threatening.

I wouldn't take it that far. I have my issues with Serrano's views, but that book was written 17 years ago, i'd assume a lot of the girls she dated back then had it rougher than my peers and me. I see where she's coming from, i understand the mutual connection in t4t situations fairly well, i just take objection to where she puts her focus and how she frames these things.

idk, on one hand i've only been out for two years and still have plenty of time to grow into a community elder, otoh my passport says i'm 45 years old. It says a lot of demonstrably wrong shit, but i think that number might actually be correct. Which brings up the question if this is about me failing as a maternal figure.

There's actually this saying that trans girls looking for support should look for a sister, not a mother. Because somebody who is too far ahead of them will struggle to relate to their problems. Maybe that's just true. Maybe we should model our support networks on how we develop and not on cishetnormative family units.

Remove lemm.ee

While not as openly awful as SJW or similar shitshows, the instance has always had a tendency towards reactionary sentiment and anticommunism, and their users are just awful debate perverts, as examplified by this post where some MRA idiot liberal antifeminist barges into c/traaaaaa and tries to turn a trans debate into "not all men" bs. It's not the only problematic post in that thread, but the other one has already been removed. This is now the state of our trans comms. This has been going on steadily since federation started and it doesn't get better, it is the new status quo on hexbear. That's the reason why this will be my last post under this account, and why i will post not even remotely as often under my new handle.

I know this is still an unpopular opinion around here, but i'm sick of this entire failed federation experiment. You've had the mistaken idea that there could be a compromise between keeping the site as a safer space for trans people on one hand and "reaching out to and propagandizing" a couple dozen techbros and a couple hundred redditors on the other. And it really shows when i look at the queer spaces on hexbear, so many trans longtime users on here have massively reduced posting, we've gone from being "the most trans inclusive non-trans space on the internet" to "we also have moretankie_egg_irl". Seriously, that's what it feels like nowadays to me, there's a very palpable change in the quality of posts on queer subjects because with the old guard receding, most of them are now made by eggs and closet cases who haven't yet worked through their internalized transphobia and transmedicalism and are therefore unable to educate others, offer substantial community support, push for actual queer liberation instead of assimilationism and have in-depth discussions about radical views on transness that would be drowned out by the lib shit on reddit.

You can't build effective, radicalizing queer communities like that. In a structurally queerphobic society, you need not necessarily elders, but users who've at least already been through the most pressing struggles baby queers are facing to offer them guidance and help them to be themselves instead of trying to fit into a social structure that rejects them. We used to have that, back in the day threads about coming out or struggling with dysphoria or gender experimentation would have a ton of helpful, supportive comments and now it's just a bunch of eggs all having the same issue with nobody to show them a perspective not tainted by cisnormativity and internalized transphobia. We've gone from being a support structure aimed to build trans resistence to being a circlejerk of trans mysery. Trying to offer advice in such a setting is just such a draining task, i do not feel up to that when it feels as if i have to do it on my own. We've lost so much because you just had to federate with places overrun by reddit shitheads. And that's just a sad thing to say about the first place where i tried out my pronouns. This site was a home for me, it used to literally make me laugh out loud every day, now it's just a tedious stream of half-decent half shit takes i can't bring myself to care about. Breaks my fucking heart, but what can you do?

It's time to move on now. Farewell, comrades.

omg we now have an owl version of that emoji

As a quick summary, this is about Christian Ziegler, chairman of the Florida Republikan party, and his wife Bridget Ziegler, who is involved with the racist and queerphobic book banner group Moms for Liberty. Turns out they had a threesome with a woman some time ago and about a year after that,

Kat discusses this from the perspective of a straight woman who's familiar with the swinger community. I do not always agree with her takes on relationships and sexuality, as she just has a different focus and feels differently about a lot of stuff, being a heterosexual trans woman who has spent a lot of time living stealth, but i can respect her views and reognize that she just has different views on how open you are about your transness because she's a black trans woman who has spent much of her adult life living in the more conservative parts of California dating straight cis dudes. That's just a context where you have different safety considerations than me being a white, bi but mostly lesbian and t4t dating trans woman in one of the more trans inclusive areas of Germany. In any case, i find that a lof of her takes on unicorn hunting are very similar to those of many lesbian women even though she approaches the topic from a different angle than the lesbian voices i've heard about this topic.

What's particularly noteworthy here is that once more, the cishet dude being super outspoken about supposed "groomers" is actually a sexual predator himself. I can get behind Kat's take that at least in some cases, the fight against sex ed is motivated by such people wanting to reduce people's ability to set boundaries for themselves and identify and call out consent violations. This story mostly seems to get framed as one about conservative hypocrits in the media, but it's more than that. The core of the matter is not that the chairman of the Florida GOP is married to a bisexual woman, but that he is a r_pist.

Duh, she's a lesbian, ofc the design focuses more on showing off her shoulders and arms. Straight dudes literally know nothing about sex.