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For when you’ve been crawling a river of shit, and need to come out clean

I thought DA:I was a perfectly cromulent game.

You know, he’s something of a songbird himself

Well if they ignore that, before you know it they’ll be up to their elbows in crusty jugglers

It was fine honestly

Zelle: “Fuck.”

I would if I could get anyone to fill my fucking prescription

No idea. Picture it: Late summer, 1998.

I was working on the Jungle Cruise at Walt Disney World, and had a VIP group get on my boat with one instruction: no Brazilian guests could share the boat. Nice enough dude, built, good lookin’ dude.

As we moved down the dock to load the rest of the guests, a Brazilian tour group saw who was there and COMPLETELY LOST THEIR MINDS. Americans, including me, had no idea who it was.

Went through the ride, they got off the boat, left via the back way.

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She’s very very safe here in Seattle, I can tell you that.