this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
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Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing.

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[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 78 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Sleep on her side of the bed. Then don’t tell her what you did.

[–] GregorTacTac@lemm.ee 20 points 2 years ago

This is some next-level chaos.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

She'll know. The smell. Also the breadcrumbs.

[–] SadLuther@lemmy.kya.moe 6 points 2 years ago

And bits of dried pizza cheese.

[–] SuperSynthia@lemmy.world 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

When my partner is out of town, I put porn on the big screen

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

When my partner is out of town that's the one time I splurge for an actual porn subscription

[–] zloubida@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Don't change your underwear for two days.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] zloubida@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago

I'm proud of you.

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 28 points 2 years ago

Do what I do, plan for porn, fastfood and beer. In reality you buy a six pack of your old brand, then drink half a beer with a large cheeseburger. Get queasy from the burger and fall a sleep before you manage to play with yourself. Wake up to find that the dog ate your fries and got diarrhea, which you slept through on account of the beer. Now clean up dog diarrhea with hangovers while swearing that you'll never drink half a beer.

LPT: disable the roomba before sitting down, and make sure that the dog has been walked...

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)

He said he only had a weekend though.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing."

We are not the same meme

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

I lasted like 40 mins before hitting the vape pen

[–] sicarius@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Try a tab of lsd and go for a nice walk in the woods

[–] beercupcake@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 years ago

Just to add to this. Take a nice shower, eat something light, wear comfy cloths, and take your trip. Stay safe, enjoy, and have bottle of water with you :)

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Ugh. I hate it when people have a far easier time than I do finding drugs. Every dealer assumes I’m a cop

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[–] JoBo@feddit.uk 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 years ago

Sext her sister's BIL

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If you don’t like alcohol or weed, cocaine is a helluva drug.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Heh yeah. I'll just call up my xoke dealer.

Edit:

bout to get wild

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 years ago

Aww yeah, gonna get the iron warmed up for an all nighter

[–] Saigonauticon@voltage.vn 13 points 2 years ago

Ooh, study for 14 hours straight and forget to eat! That's usually what I do. Wild times.

[–] all-knight-party@kbin.run 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I watch horribly artsy movies or put speed runs on the big TV, blast music aloud, I order a pizza, and I consume the substances you don't find appealing, and I wear the same clothes the entire time without changing

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[–] federalreverse@feddit.de 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (2 children)

What about the sink I poop in?

[–] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] scorpious@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Waffle stomp!

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[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

You guys are amazing

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Cocaine feels like a good time.

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Cocaine feels like the need for more cocaine.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No one has ever been more correct.

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Rearrange the lounge, or if you want to play it safe, maybe just the shed

[–] jtom@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

grind leetcode

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 2 years ago

Truest statement.

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 3 points 2 years ago

Buy one of those silicone eggs to jerk off with

[–] dbilitated@aussie.zone 2 points 2 years ago
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