this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2024
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chapotraphouse

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I held the nice lady who has a garden at knife point and demanded she say "CCP" as we all know Chinese demons cant's say CCP since there's a hex on their brains controlled by Xi. The police were called and they took my phone and I'm sitting in a squad car. Little did they know I boofed an extra burner phone just for this exact scenario. No doubt they're taking me to the local party headquarters for torture. Even the police are in on this. DON'T USE TIKTOK

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[–] AcidMarxist@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sorry sweaty, if your ancestors were gladiators you arent a REAL roman, youre probably a stanky gaul or germanic

[–] duderium@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

A dude I knew in high school got the cops called on him once because he was waving around a sword in the woods while dressed as a medieval monk. He also came to school dressed that way on the first day of junior year (without the sword). I think he has a farm or something now and sells like hand-crafted knives.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

May I see it? (the dude's rock)

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

Calling officer Debrewski a traitor to the United States and asking how much Xi is paying him?!

[–] allthetimesivedied@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is a good bit. Delightfully deranged.

[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Stuff like this makes me really appreciate human creativity. How this thought process occurred is beyond me. Yet, delightful is just the word for it.

[–] DyingOfDeBordom@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

probably channeling things a relative/neighbor said

[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Channeling is a skill set. The mantling of another’s mindset, a wild hunt that forces the shitposter to join and create bits instead of the whole murder thing.

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have a Gradius (A foundational 1985 shoot 'em up released to arcades by Konami)

[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

The GBA version was amazing