What the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk I have a test today I definitely did not study for at all
its a miracle if I pass this class
this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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I got in a fight with my dad and it fucking sucks. He sent me a link to an article written by a trans woman who repeated all of the gender critical talking points, just pure reactionary garbage. The writer is a fucking comprador letting people point to her and say "well this trans person says not to get surgery!" If I bring surgery up at all they always tell me to look at sources about regretting it. Its so fucking painful for me to try to get them to stop repeating reactionary talking points and actually listen to me and respect my decision. I just... it's so hard to keep doing this. I love them and all but theyve said really horrible stuff to me. Theyve toned it down a bit but they just dont understand how much their approval matters to me. I can tell they think i can be "cured" somehow, that I just need to figure out "why" i'm trans and just need to "love myself". It sucks so fucking much. I hate this.
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I got called "Daughter" by a random woman in the market today
I hate colds. They're the worst. Woke up feeling like crap. About 2 days of symptoms behind my wife, so I know this won't be a quick one.
Also, I'm 4 weeks away from my bottom surgery. You can tell I'm excited because my dreams are just constantly filled with dreams of that day. These next 4 weeks are going to draaaaag.
*sigh* Guy I became friends with is well on his way on the fascist pipeline. Had a discussion with him tonight and he's very insistent on "glassing" the US's enemies among other things. When presented with evidence to the contrary on his talking points, he wished to change topics. Considering he knows he's talking to a transgirl, I can only imagine that he's on the pipeline rather than at the final stop. Not sure if I want to bother continuing to agitate or just drop it altogether. :\
I actually have a fair amount of experience with this. I've talked a few people off the pipeline in the past. I've made a lot of mistakes and lost some friends along the way, but I like to think I'm pretty good at it now. A few of biggest tips I can give are:
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Don't push too hard. This isn't a debate, and debate is for dweebs. This is a dialogue between friends. Keep it light, but persistent. You are teaching him to think critically, not what to think.
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Be prepared for burnout and pushback. If you push too hard they will shut down. It will turn into a debate, at which point they are no longer receptive to your attempts. If it happens, drop the subject and move on to something light. Give them time to think. This is more about planting seeds than it is about harvesting results.
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Learn the Socratic method. It's a powerful tool for this kind of stuff.
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Be prepared to land on and argue from softer opinions than what you actually believe. Be prepared to fight dirty. You don't have to be 100% in good faith all the time. The metaphor I use for this is that critical thought is like a building you're constructing with them. you've already climbed the stairs and know what the roof looks like. Even if you really want them to climb them with you, you're going to have to stop on lower floors. And you need to be ok with that. Small steps win the race here.
And above all else, your safety is top priority. If things go south, bail. You don't need to put yourself into danger.
Keep up the fight! One deradicalized fascist could mean dozens of lives improved.
I'm certainly going to try. Just makes me nervous since this guy lives fairly close to me. Never really attempted to pull someone away from the fascist pipeline before, so this'll be a journey for me. Hopefully not a bad one.
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I split up with my boyfriend today. It hasn't hit me yet, but I'm probably going to be really sad later.
You go this. It might be a highly emotional time, but you'll make it through it. 
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(CW: you will experience crippling sadness if you’re a trans girl who’s pre op or likes their genitals)
https://old.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/k4x2n4/question_from_a_nonop_trans_lesbian/
this ancient Reddit post is making me die inside. First comment is a shitton of upvotes basically saying nobody likes me or people like me. Death to all Reddit users
I genuinely don't care for the approval of cis lesbians. like it's because of shit like this that I only date/sleep with trans women at this point: there's no point in trying to get with someone who will never see me as a human being worthy of respect
i feel like lesbians being transphobic is a bit of an unwarranted stereotype but that's just because cis people in general are transphobic
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God genital preferences are absolutely painful and kind of feel dehumanizing, even though I understand they’re valid
I’ve already internalized my bits as part of my identity so even though they’re not “supposed” to be what I identify with, it still hurts, like someone is rejecting my very self
What do you mean exactly?
EDIT: Ahh. This is the same struggle I had leading up to my egg cracking. Once I started to realize that the bits don’t make the person, the person makes the person, it helped me better internalize who I was. It ain’t easy. I dealt with this for years before I was able to accept it and really see it for what it was, but I eventually came out the other side a better woman. 
sexual reference
I mean that someone I was sexting/RPing with basically dropped me because I had a penis and I didn't want to change myself in the RP world to not have one. While I would normally love the ability to change my genitals at will doing it for someone else feels wrong.
Ohhh…yeah. That’s a major feels bad moment. I’m sorry you had to deal with someone like that. No one should have to go through that. :<
I've been feeling torn because I understand a lot of people have trauma around penises and stuff, and that even without that it's valid, but it just sucked a lot
new unjust depths chapter!
spoiler
the date is so good, shalikova gay af and the way it ended was heartbreaking. the meeting was great, i love erika and moravskyi getting drunk and bonding. the chapter ending is very distressing, given her faction's already established opinions on shmii decolonization efforts. i feel she may not be being entirely honest about the shmii hordes displacing and destroying the eloim homeland!
That voice group meeting was useful, also got a book suggestion from a coworker who moonlights as a voice actor, though it took him some convincing since he thinks sounding feminine in retail makes customers less mad or some silly shit. Naw, they were mad long before they got to the line.
Otherwise not doing so well, this sinus infection is kicking my ass and draining me, I know its related to that never ending dental abscess, it just took until this month to finally get scheduled to be seen by a somewhat affordable dentist, though still ouch. I hope when I finally get seen that's the resolution of it, it doesn't come back to pester.