this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to !shitreactionariessay@lemmygrad.ml

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 81 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

I'm going to start talking about balls the way weird men talk about boobs

"THE WOKE MOB HATE THE UNDENIABLE BEAUTY OF HIS GIANT SIZE 8 QUIVERING BALLSACK"

[–] booty@hexbear.net 53 points 1 year ago (3 children)

what animal can we refer to them as? if breasts already got all the bird names... maybe they oughta be marsupials.

LOOK AT THE WOMBATS ON THAT GUY

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 47 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Please stop talking about my balls..."

"OH WHAT, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO APPRECIATE BEAUTY?! IT WAS A COMPLIMENT. MASCISM HAS RUINED MEN!"

[–] Flyberius@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago

I bet there are so many rocks in his crop 🤩💦💦💦

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

Look at the Quokka's hanging off that dude!

[–] Wheaties@hexbear.net 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can't have testicles the size of billiards balls no more, 'cus of woke.

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 54 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Sorry, not beautiful, no amount of Hollywood woke propaganda will make me accept men with balls smaller than bowling balls. Why does the left hate masculine beauty?

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

wolf whistle Look at the plums on that feller!

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

THE SIZE OF AVOCADOS THEY ARE

[–] asg101@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think avocado actually was derived from the Maya/Aztec (not sure which) word for balls.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago

Sweetie we have truck nuts, that's equality.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

as I shook his hand, his ballsack bounced testicularly

[–] Tachanka@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

"[...]a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it." - Dr. Evil

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

Are testicle sizes even a thing?

Let's make it a thing.

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[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 70 points 1 year ago (1 children)

if trans people are so great then how come this woman has big tits?

wtf-am-i-reading not even trying to strawman but is this seriously what they're arguing?

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 41 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Cowards simply cannot address the big tiddy t4t.

[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I know lots of transwomen with big tiddies, what even is this image?

[–] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 46 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Ok I'm starting to think half the chuds in the West could be taken out with the old 'bomb with lipstick and a wig on it' trick.

Alternatively, maybe the most effective praxis would literally be a large breasted woman telling them socialism is good?

[–] huf@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

woman telling them

they wouldnt go for that, oh no. you'd need large breasted women begging them to save them from capitalism. maybe that'd work?

[–] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'll try anything at this point. I was actually contemplating making a meme of Marx with huge ones

[–] anaesidemus@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago (4 children)

awooga

Talk about material conditions!

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[–] bazingabrain@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago

im dying of laughter holy shit. This is the sort of late night slop i require, thank you for posting this im literally crying tears oh my god.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We asked 50 mommy milker boys if her Double D Knockers signaled the end of wokeism and all 50 agreed.

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hubbuda Hubbuda for yes

Awooga for no

[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 41 points 1 year ago (7 children)

I’m a transwomen with DDs. Does this make me an oxymoron? Would I just straight up break what remains of their brains?

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago (8 children)

also trans and my girlies are big enough that the state wont give me a pair for free no more trans-sad

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The only cure for woke is a giant erect penis says man who doesn't know you can get porn for free on the internet

[–] itappearsthat@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago (2 children)

hilariously this was written by a woman, who in a previous career was a nurse who got fired for being transphobic

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago

>transphobe

>creepy misogynist

This keeps happening :)

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

Well, she can fuck off too

[–] Grownbravy@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago

BIG HABBA BAZONGAS! IS WOKE DEAD? MORE AT 11pm

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago

Tits so massive they obscure chudvision and get them to stop seeing the woke everywhere. World peace has been achieved.

[–] BurgerPunk@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This felt even weirder than normal for some reason. Like that it comes completely out of nowhere, besides being gross - but then it hit me. CHUDs lost Taylor Swift (and Football lol). They lost a blonde symbol of white ethno-feminity. So now they need a new one.

[–] RedQuestionAsker2@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago

It's incredibly weird. I'm so out of touch with whatever is going on. I'm seriously jesse-wtf at this post.

Trump really did rebuild the conservative movement in his image. Except instead of making everyone cutthroat business psychos, he turned them all into effete TMZ addicts.

[–] rootsbreadandmakka@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

God chuds are so boring

dae le booba??? awooga

[–] Dr_Gabriel_Aby@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

Scar Joe and Jennifer Lawerence brought in the woke and they needed to find someone radically different to end the woke. Someone blonde, with boobs!

My only exposure to Western MSM these days is via the dunk tank. Anti-intellectualism has apparently reached critical mass.

[–] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

checkmate, my big tits r woke bc im not a cis woman

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

Woke is no match for a beautiful Blonde woman's giant White booba.

[–] Blep@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

Klanada isnt a real country

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is Sweeney the more explicitly horny Brie Larson for right wingers now?

[–] itappearsthat@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Well we have two sweeney posts on the hexbear front page rn so I think she's that for everybody. I honestly think she is the herald of a cosmic shift that brings boob men back in vogue. Ass men had two decades on top. The tide turns. Patriots in control.

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

she is the herald of a cosmic shift that brings boob men back in vogue. Ass men had two decades on top. The tide turns. Patriots in control.

We’re so back big-cool awooga

[–] BlueMagaChud@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

are they going to hold a wake for the death of woke? come on down to the woke wake

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