this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
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So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!โ€ etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

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[โ€“] anarchost@lemm.ee 16 points 2 years ago (4 children)

You're asking about a collective and also a singular...

Just in general I'd say that if you're trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too. For the collective "hey guys" I have no one-word replacement ("folks/folx" sounds equally southern and somehow more cringe), but you could replace the whole phrase with "hey everybody", "hi gang", "how are you all", or just "hey".

When speaking to any woman, I would advise against calling them "dude" or "man." Full stop. No further thoughts necessary on that one.

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[โ€“] Wes_Dev@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 years ago

I bit the bullet and was the cringy person at work who said "peeps". After a few months of do this, it was amusing to see the word spread until my boss's boss started saying peeps in meetings.

[โ€“] SecretPancake@feddit.de 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[โ€“] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[โ€“] frefi@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 2 years ago

for singular use boo works, and plural you can say "hey, fuckos"

[โ€“] Agent641@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[โ€“] MargotRobbie@lemm.ee 13 points 2 years ago

"Mate" is always a good option, I wish it's used more universally in the States, too.

[โ€“] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Peeps

Note: You will sound like a tool if you say this.

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[โ€“] onlooker@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 years ago

Fellow bipedal meat-things.

[โ€“] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 years ago
[โ€“] GTG3000@programming.dev 12 points 2 years ago

"What's up everypony?"

[โ€“] craig9@lemm.ee 12 points 2 years ago

My go-to is folks, but 1000 others have mentioned that already. So I will throw in "people".

"Hey people, how's it going?"

That works for me

[โ€“] Saigonauticon@voltage.vn 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I just omit the unnecessary words or use their name. That works OK, although I'm awful with names so usually it just becomes "Good job!" or "What's up?".

Funny story time: in English I find this is not so bad. In French it's worse. In Vietnamese it's awful. We have dozens of pronouns. They're not only mostly gendered, but contain information about their age and perceived status relative to you. It's a 3-dimensional matrix where the axes are approximately gender, age/hierarchy, and degree of relation (inlaws/blood relations/strangers). You even get a different word for yourself in some of these situations. Then sometimes there's a numerical rank inside each pronoun e.g. male uncle, my spouse's family, 3rd oldest.

The language is already at maximum pronoun burden. Honestly it would just be easier if we called each other 'human' or 'comrade' or 'citizen' or something equally encompassing. It's exhausting as a non-native speaker (and you are not ever allowed to use their names, that's considered super rude).

[โ€“] no_time_like_the@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

You could copy Scooby do and refer to the group of people as 'gang', 'team' works too

[โ€“] Arghblarg@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[โ€“] quinkin@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago
[โ€“] sjmulder@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 2 years ago (2 children)
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[โ€“] pearable@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Folks for groups and friend for individuals is my go to. Comrade if you want to be spicy

[โ€“] echo@lemmings.world 10 points 2 years ago

all friends everyone folks peeps team

If you're only addressing one person then it can be left off entirely.

[โ€“] kaffiene@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[โ€“] Davidvanb@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago
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