So far it seems that known bans (except the universal one for lemmygrad) are motivated by behavior of the users, not the contents on the instance. I hope it will stay this way. They do not have to read it, you can even hide NSFW here and it works. The other instances are not advertisers who fear NSFW the most.
By flocking to instances doing defederation you encourage this behavior and eventually they are/will be the most happy to ban stuff inside. I am happy to comment from here anywhere, including beehaw etc. (which we still can), but won't bother to make accounts on closed silos.
As one user I don't think you can "strategize" better than picking an open instance that is not overrun by trolls and vandals. I think this one is good enough?