this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2024
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chapotraphouse

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I have a tub of ranch dip and right on the top of it in big bold letters it says "Only Real Ingredients!!" I don't know what this means. I assume that means there are fake ingredients out there somewhere, imaginary ingredients, and that other brands are using those fake ingredients rather than the real ones this brand uses.

Anyway come up with some fake ingredients and then tell me what purpose they serve in those other brand's ranch dip. Also yes I'm eating ranch dip so you can also make fun of me for being a anti-cracker-aktion but do the bit too.

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago
[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Recipe for Dranch Bressing:

2 cups Buffermilk

1/4 cup D. John

4 tisps salp

2 timbers Zepper

Farmer John Shease (to taste)

Knead until firm, chill overnight

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

This sounds delicious

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Gonna need WAY more salp than that

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Too much salp gives me harpburn

[–] frogloom@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago
[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Troika beans

[–] mustGo@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] btfod@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

When you leave Oreo creme in the sun to cure, then grind to a coarse powder?

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

Steamed ice

[–] btfod@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
  • alphtholate of soda: face puckerizer
  • krebbed dramyls: glutinosity modifier
  • cosmic spice: no perceptible effect on the food product, but we can't afford another containment breach so we put it in anyway
[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thanks this will really help me understand how to work these ingredients in to the overall recipe

[–] btfod@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

yw, good luck! almost forgot to mention, for best results you'll wanna kreb the dramyls yourself. if you must buy prekrebbed, check for a born on date on the packaging, and this goes without saying but KNOW YOUR KREBBER!

[–] RION@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

Goonberries

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] blight@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

And here I thought I made the word up

[–] blight@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
  • gallowed sharpatoot
  • long leaf peytsclemp
  • wilthbleeb, shaved
[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

These are all crafting materials in Elden Ring

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Pork sprouts

[–] BGDelirium@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

Honted Florf foot

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

I decided there will be a follow up post where I use all of these ingredients to create Hexbear's Ranch Dip recipe so stay tuned for that I guess

[–] ValpoYAFF@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

Dehydrated water