All the workers have forearm tattoos
At least 3 people are wearing beanies in the middle of summer
Bacon is $4 extra
The burger comes out on a bun drenched in butter and is so greasy/oily that halfway through it may as well have been served in a bowl
It's also a dry pretzel bun
The biggest disappointment
Also:
Drinks are served in jars, and your fries, well, you get 8 fries in a rusty old can.
I hate those fucking stools. I swear they were invented to be so uncomfortable that once you've choked down that mediocre overpriced burger you want to leave as soon as possible because your ass hurts.
Getting people to leave quickly allows more people to enter, which means more burgers served.
always order everything to go and take it home and eat it in the comfort of my own bed.
restaurants are so uncomfortable.
They're shitty amazon order stools I bet.
Why is this so accurate
Half of the "artisan" burger chains in my city are marginally better than a fast-food chain. One, maybe two of them make burgers so good that they're worth the occasional splurge.
There’s a BBQ place near me, and I ordered tater tots there once, as a side. They were $4. They literally gave me 4 tater tots. They were one dollar apiece.
I ordered a gyro with a side of onion rings (the onion rings alone were $7) from a local place to take home. When I got home and opened the box of onion rings, I saw there were only six small (like, 1.5" in diameter) onion rings in the too-large box - more than a dollar per tiny ring. Next time I went I complained about the onion rings and they showed me the menu which said "6 onion rings" in the item description albeit in a tiny font. Like, they knew what complete and utter bullshit it was so they had to have something legal to fall back on.
This meme is either very old or was made by someone in the midwestern US (always years behind on fads).
All of the bistro burger joints have gone the way of the dinosaur in my neck of the woods. Now it’s all smash burger fast food knock offs.
Nah, I got take out 3 burgers in SF area for 60 bucks in a place that looked like this and offered 6$ fries. Wtf
Taphouse/brewery has replaced the bistro burger joints that couldn't survive covid.
The places I see like this that are still around are moreso just generic American food :tm:. They sell more than just burgers, but the burgers are stupid expensive
They serve “local IPA” on draft for $11 or, ironically, a miller high life for a dollar.
I literally just opened a place like this lmao
Good luck, honestly.
$22.50 is a lot for a burger, but I've had some burgers that price that are life changing.
RIP??
Holy shit his is accurate, wtf lol
To be fair, Five Guys is every bit as expensive. But I'll take Five Guys over most of those places anyway. Free peanuts is tempting.
Five guys will let you fuck your burger up with 12 toppings tho. Better value proposition
Five guys will let you fuck your burger
This echos my last five guys in restaurant people watching experience.
Denim aprons denim aprons denim aprons
We have this exact hanging lamp at home from Amazon lol
How much for a burger
One bussy and penetrative cuddling.
And the word "Offerings" will appear on the menu
Pffftahahaha, I think I've been to this restaurant. I probably looked at the menu, eyes bugged out of head, ordered a cider or something and left.
Virgin orders something cheap out of obligation vs Chad "prices are too high, I'll just eat at home"
Holy shit even the pictures look like a local restaurant named: Allentown Burger Venture (ABV) lol
Burger King has a new burger that I like, and it's $10 (burger only). I would order it lots if it was $7 to 8, but $10 is a tad much.
Eating out now days is just too expensive in general. If I'm going to eat out, I rather go to an actual restaurant, because fast food costs about the same now days. $14-16 fast food mean vs $12-22 for sit down meal. I can keep the fast food costs down, but that's usually without a meal, and/or ordering inferior products.
I've never seen a burger come without some side at a non fast-food restaurant in my city and I don't know why I find the concept so gross.
Yeah I've had a burger from a place that roughly fit this description, I was really sad when they closed because it was by an extreme margin the best burger I've ever had in my life.
Life is significantly worse without that burger.