If your balls are that long, you need to see a doctor.
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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Some countries have way more water in toilets than others
Sorry, can't hear you over my superior European design
There’s nothing superior about a toilet you can’t wash your nuts in
They actually have specific toilets for washing your nuts and bunghole in. It's even a separate throne you sit on and clean your bits in.
I know at least in Italy, it's pretty common.
Chicks dig the long ball
If your balls are that long, you’re probably overdue for a colonoscopy
Please explain more -- what does a long sack have to do with your colon? I don't have this issue but maybe one day I will, and for others who already have the issue. Thank you.
Generally, as a man ages into the regular colonoscopy checkup era, his scrotum loses it's elasticity and the testes droop lower each year. Hence...
Oh alright, it's just a regular aging correlation. Thank you!
I think your toilet is clogged and about to overflow
They need to pull their nuts out
flush
"Oh yeah, pull them harder!"
Don’t kink shame me
How shallow are your toilets? How big are your nuts?
It's not the toilet size that's the problem. It's the slow descent of the scrotum year after year that gets you ever closer to that cold dip into Poseidon's domain.
It's a problem with older toilets. I solved the problem by replacing the old toilets with ADA compliant ones. They are tall and comfortable with a large distance between you and the water. They are not good for pooping because you have a sit rather than squat position. This is where a Squatty Potty comes in clutch.
SOURCE: Am fifty. Went commando for about twenty years.
Squatty Potty
Unsolicited rant:
The Squatty Potty raises the distal end of your thighs a few inches, reducing the angle between your thigh and abdomen by... idk, 20° to simulate squatting. Considering that relative anatomical position, you can accomplish almost the exact same thing by just sitting without a Squatty Potty and leaning forward 20° - you'll get that same reduction of angle between thigh and abdomen.
The Squatty Potty will be slightly more optimized in terms of gravity, but the difference in gravity pulling straight down on your log vs at a 20° downward slope is insignificant, cuz shitting works via a physiological process called peristalsis (sequential contracting and relaxing of segments of a tube to squeeze its contents from one end to the other) -- you could shit just fine in zero G, or even completely upside down in normal G because peristalsis doesn't rely on gravity at all (although the result of shitting upside down might have some not-so-fun consequences for your face once the turd is free).
tldr: buying and using a Squatty Potty vs just leaning forward a tad when you shit = same same.
I don't have one and have never used one, but I thought the argument was that it was a more natural position to how we'd shit in the wild, in other words how we evolved? Like the position has better flow/use of the process you mentioned. Sure, leaning could do the same thing, though again never having used one I don't know which is more comfortable.
argument was that it was a more natural position to how we’d shit in the wild, in other words how we evolved?
Correct, and that argument is sound.
the position has better flow/use of the process you mentioned.
Here's where the marketing kicks in - better than what? Better than sitting upright like you would in a normal chair? Absolutely. Better than leaning forward to achieve the same relative anatomical position? Their sales pitch doesn't address this - by design.
never having used one I don’t know which is more comfortable.
That bit is subjective. If you like the feel of the SP, nuff' said, use it. I personally find it doesn't actually matter 99% of the time. Even sitting upright chair-like doesn't actually impair the process enough to make a noticeable difference. The only exception is the occasional shit-from-hell, like the kind that makes you feel like literal death from start to finish, but then once it's out you feel fine... which if you've never experienced, hopefully it stays that way; if you have, and are wondering wtf just happened, it's a vasovagal response to pressure and straining, and it makes you literally feel like you're about to die.
Our bodies are jerks.
Anyway, when that's happening, anything that can make the process even half-a-percent more efficient is a godsend, so I find myself changing positions a lot from the lean, to upright, to side-to-side, back to the lean, etc. Adding the SP to the mix certainly wouldn't hurt, but I don't think it'd actually contribute anything that other positions aren't already hitting.
Or just be tall enough with a fairly low toilet, im basically squatting by default my knees are way higher than my ass when using most toilets
Beat me to it lol. The old 1960s-70s round bowl toilets with pastel colors all do this.
I grew up down the well, and my balls did as well.
You have the wrong size toilet my dude.
Maybe he just has really big balls? Or the dangle height is way off?
I just don't why we need to instantly blame the toilet here. The toilet might've done nothing wrong.
I got a Vormax toilet a couple years ago and it is a HUGE upgrade from my old round toilet. Elongated toilets only in my house from now on. And I can sit on the throne and scratch my balls as much as I want with no water contact.
Vormax toilet
That looks like a normal toilet. It's the same style as what I've got in the UK and what most people have. Is there something special about the inside?
It is different.
There are 2 holes in the tank so it sends 2 streams of water into the bowl. 1 stream spins around the bowl keeping it cleaner than most toilets. My plumber also believed it is thicker porcelain than most modern toilets.
More info: https://www.americanstandard-us.com/innovations/vormax-flushing-technology
Ooooo very fancy! Does it spin your turds?
Round toilets are worse. Tip of your dick hits the front.
Every so often, I find it amusing to paint a quick picture of that scene and close it with: "Are you 100% certain that every dick you've sucked was thoroughly washed mere minutes before punching your tonsils? If not, you've had the inner rim of at least one random unknown toilet stamping its petri dish against your throat, and some of you enjoyed it. Facts don't lie."