this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

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10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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[–] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 128 points 2 years ago (12 children)

This nonsense again? John Hislop runs a gambling blog for money, and published this googlebait years ago to get sweet SEO candy. Clearly it's still working.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 155 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I don’t know, I’ve been reading his blog about 20+ years, and the bait haven’t worked on me

[–] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Paging @wit2437

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

I love gambling

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 104 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Doggy dog world

It's a dog eat dog world. Bone apple tit!

[–] hikikoma@ani.social 82 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's bon appétit. They're a diamond dozen!

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.world 75 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's "a dime a dozen". As they say, knowledge is power, France is bacon.

[–] Bonehead@kbin.social 64 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's Francis Bacon, the author that said "Knowledge is power". Come on now, this is easy enough to look up...it's not rocket appliances.

[–] RobertOwnageJunior@lemmy.world 53 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's rocket science. But we'll cross that bridge when we cum on it.

[–] splicerslicer@lemmy.world 48 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The expression you're looking for is "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" Not that it matters, it's all water under the fridge anyway, mostly a moo point.

[–] TommySalami@lemmy.world 40 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Come on, man, it's "water under the bridge". I want to contribute but it felt like we were drifting into malaphors there for a second, so I'm gonna play it by year and just see what comes next.

[–] ettyblatant@lemmy.world 36 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Not to be rude, but it's actually "play it by ear". I'm trying to come up with something witty to say, but I'm dropping a blank.

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 29 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I don't want to beat under the bush so I'm just going to say it. You should have said "drawing a blank ".

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 27 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Hey man just want to correct you so you don't embarrass yourself, it's beat around the bush. Good thing I nipped that in the butt.

[–] okmko@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

It's nip it in bud - which is not the nipple of a human, but the bud of a rose. Sorry for being so pedophile.

[–] pivot_root@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

A pedophile is a kiddie diddler; you're thinking of "pedantic." But, that's just my two scents on the matter.

[–] Kase@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's actually "my two cents." No offense, after all, every buddy makes missed takes.

Yo my man it's actually "my two cents" but don't worry keep on (to the) rock king!

[–] philthi@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago

I'm sorry to correct you, but it's actually nipped in the bud. I'd hate for you to use that in public and get egg on your plate.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

You mean “drawing a blank.” It’s like you can lead a whore to water but you can’t make a drink.

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 89 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Also it's actually not that hard to quit smoking. I've quit smoking four times.

[–] LarmyOfLone@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

On a serious note, there is a type of natural Antidepressant in cigarette smoke (MAOIs) which you come off of like 2 weeks delayed because it has a type of reservoir in the body. So once you quit you can get like delayed withdrawal symptoms.

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[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 24 points 2 years ago
[–] robocall@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (4 children)
[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 27 points 2 years ago (4 children)

My favourite tweet possibly ever

[–] Kase@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

This is so absurd. It sounds like it comes from one of those AI presidents-playing-minecraft videos on youtube.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago

ive seen the first but never the second

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Trump drinks diet coke and would never call himself not thin.

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[–] s_s@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I still can't believe twitter made Donald Trump a Potus. It has to be one of the wildest stories in our country's history.

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[–] key@lemmy.keychat.org 11 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] Maeve@kbin.social 7 points 2 years ago (4 children)

And me, switching from stinky cigarettes to candy flavored vape. I thought a month or two max. It’s been three. Time to fix that. Look out world (fr). Maybe since it’s warmer, my bike is fixed and I’ve almost gotten the interior of my home back in order, it won’t be so difficult when I replace those nicotine hits with dopamine hits? 😬 🙏🏽

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I quit smoking by switching to candy flavored vape. Then I quit vaping and it was easier than quitting smoking.

[–] Maeve@kbin.social 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yep. This week will be particularly busy/trying, and I expect my current vape to run out Tuesday. Please send good vibes, that I don’t give in to temptations, bite off anyone’s head, or grind my teeth to dust. Tyia.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Maeve@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

The big smile is thanking you for good wishes, friend.

[–] jdf038@mander.xyz 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Good luck! I need to do that with running more.

[–] Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I used vaping to quit cigarettes but I was able to quit running cold turkey, life’s never been better, good luck!

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[–] Maeve@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

Thank you! Wishing you the best of luck and gritty determination until you build momentum and the high kicks in again!

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[–] Maeve@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

Hey, I took your comment as joking. In caseI misunderstood, I wish you all the grit in overcoming your challenges.

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[–] Duranie@literature.cafe 6 points 2 years ago

I was too, until they changed the formula a year and a half/2 years ago? Started tasting more like Pepsi to me, not a fan. I can do Cherry Coke Zero on occasion, or if I've got a craving I'll do regular Zero with a squirt of orange Miso.

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

You're not alone, stay strong my friend! And keep me a bottle in the fridge

[–] Maeve@kbin.social 17 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Lol’d. It happens!

Btw, did you mean dog-eat-dog?

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 years ago

Bone apple tea!

[–] MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It's a doggy god world out there

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

If only we had a doggy god, we'd have all the best sticks and not a care in the world.

[–] Maeve@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago
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