this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 69 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

I would vote for Biden over Trump if Biden came and took a shit on my cat then used my hamster to wipe his ass.

This is a r/brandnewsentence I swear.

You're an artist.

I’d honestly prefer to wipe my ass with your cat. I don’t think your hamster has enough surface area to really get my butt clean.

cognitohazard REDDIT PARTICLE LEVELS CRITICAL cognitohazard

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago

These kinds of people make me feel better about my creative output. Wake me up from a drunken stupor and my jokes will still be better than these megaton reddit bombs

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 39 points 2 years ago

It's reassuring that I can post some of the stupidest stuff to this website and still be leagues ahead of redditors

[–] Riffraffintheroom@hexbear.net 36 points 2 years ago (2 children)

They’re dumber than they used to be, right?

[–] EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago

covid brainmelt is real

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago
[–] plinky@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Give that man a cookie for winning the internet!

[–] very_poggers_gay@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

They really narwhaled the mfing bacon dean-smile

[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 68 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

It's propaganda. The far left are falling for the 2016 playbook all over again.

agony-consuming barbara-pit

[–] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 50 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Certainly someone is stuck in 2016 lol

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 40 points 2 years ago (1 children)

They're so convinced that they did nothing wrong in 2016 that they could never understand this.

[–] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago

Nooo it was the ruZZians wojak-nooo

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

What did the “far left” fall for in 2016? HILLARY WON BY MILLIONS OF VOTES. BUT THE ORANGE MAN BECAME PRESIDENT BECAUSE OF 100 RANDOM POLITICIANS

[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Ah yes, the trillion dollar Hamas propaganda apparatus is at it again. The poor US doesn't hold a candle against it.

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 49 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

People also seem to forget he's the president of the USA, not of Israel, and he also doesn't get to decide unilaterally not deliver aid to Israel Congress has authorized. This is by design, autocrats are bad, for example see: bibi

hahahaha biden-supervised

[–] robinn_IV@hexbear.net 41 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 34 points 2 years ago

AP News? You mean Ansarallah Palestine News? Next time post a reliable news source.

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I love when they immediatly switch from "you have to vote for him because he can stop fascism" to "the president of the US has literally no power to do anything so you can't expect him to do anything"

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

Thus by a continual shifting of rhetorical focus, the president is both A Smol Bean and Our Only Hope

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

Trump will literally have more power than the God Emperor if he wins, but Biden is just a smol bean who can't fix everything

[–] CyborgMarx@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

If that's the best those bootlickers can come up with then they're not trying at all

[–] CarbonScored@hexbear.net 46 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

People in here are really arguing that sure Biden is directly and very actively funding a genocide and moving mountains to make that happen. But Trump would be funding a genocide even harder so vote Biden!!!!

What does it fucking take for a lib to realise the system is broken? Because apparently openly and borderline explicitly conspiring to commit genocide is not enough.

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I was permabanned from r/politics just the other day for simply pointing out the obvious fact that if Biden keeps doing what he's doing there isn't even going to be anyone left for Trump to genocide if/when he gets back in office.

It's just a complete denial of reality.

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

These are the people calling you authoritarian

[–] very_poggers_gay@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

Same mfers that talk about "a vote for 99% hitler is a vote against 100% hitler, so you *need *to for 99% hitler ☝️🤓" will also have the nerve to talk about authoritarianism and democracy desolate

[–] Magician@hexbear.net 28 points 2 years ago

To them, hypothetical genocide is worse than actual genocide which is why they side with Israel.

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago

They're also saying that directing foreign military policy or aid is not something you can just snap your fingers for, but if Trump was in there he'd nuke them by snapping his fingers

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Biden is literally circumventing Congress to send them guns, has ordered UN resolutions calling for ceasefire to be shot down, and has called peace protestors MAGA people

This is the most clear it can get that he is fundamentally barely different from Trump and his attempts at banning people from Muslim countries, but they still won't accept it because if they did, it would mean they don't have the moral high ground any longer

[–] robinn_IV@hexbear.net 34 points 2 years ago (5 children)

The funny thing is, he's almost certainly telling Netanyahu to chill out behind closed doors. He just cant force him to do anything.

Correct. People think diplomacy works like a TV show. If they don't see it on the screen, it isn't happening. Calling Netanyahu out in public is one of the worst things Biden could do. It would strengthen him with his base at a time when he desperately needs to be out of office. It's almost like international diplomacy is complicated

International diplomacy is complicated, see despite the entire system being geared towards the eradication of the Palestinian people, it’s actually just Netanyahu that’s the problem. And anyways I had a dream Biden scolded Netanyahu despite actively supporting Israel in every statement (he’s secretly very mad).

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

Lol liberals saying other people view the world as a tv show. The US has no problem staging coups and assassinations but when western allies commit genocide, the leaders just need a stern talking to and their hearts will change.

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

People think diplomacy works like a TV show. If they don't see it on the screen, it isn't happening. Calling Netanyahu out in public is one of the worst things Biden could do. It would strengthen him with his base at a time when he desperately needs to be out of office.

You see people think diplomacy is like what we see on tv, but I know that in reality its actually some people having clandestine meetings with snappy dialogue behind closed doors, where schemes upon schemes are made, and only brought into the public eye at an interesting climax. The only show that has gotten close to showing the truth is The West Wing

[–] whatdoiputhere12@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

what fucking copium are they huffing that they think brandon is wagging his finger behind the scenes LOLLL agony

[–] casskaydee@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago

Biden is playing 5D chess with Bibi. Trust the plan

[–] oktherebuddy@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago

I no longer believe any sort of "you'll love what's going on behind closed doors" bullshit. It has always just been a way to placate people. 90% of the time there is absolutely no reason not to have these things said in the open.

[–] MaxOS@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago
[–] AntiOutsideAktion@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago (2 children)

What's blowing my mind is instead of having possibly defensible takes about there being some margin between them when it comes to Palestine, they're acting like Biden is making a world of difference and that it would be SO much worse with Trump.

[–] very_poggers_gay@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

also note the contradiction between how they defend Biden's complicity and/or outright support for the genocide of Palestinians because he's actually not *that *powerful - he's only the president of the United States!

But god forbid Trump was president - somehow he (despite holding the same role) would have the power to make things incomprehensibly worse in unspeakable ways! Vote blue!

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

With Trump we were always one executive order away from brownshirts marching down the street, with Biden I learned what a parliamentarian is.

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

deeply nonsensical

[–] Dr_Gabriel_Aby@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

I know many of you aren’t on the ‘Trump is fascist’ train, but the Dems have played the role of the SDP to perfection. It’s like Biden is wearing the skins of Muller and Bruning

[–] Ericthescruffy@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

Going through that thread is fucking jokerfying to the nth degree squared. Jesus fucking Christ what the actual fuck. Basically if I understand the average r/politics users logic:

If you don't vote for Candidate A, you are essentially voting for Candidate B and complicit in them continuing the genocide that Candidate A is currently doing and planning to continue if you do the "responsible" thing and vote for them.

Very cool. Most important election of our lifetime indeed!

[–] dmonzel@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago

Biden is clearly the candidate better equipped to stop the violence.

Then... why isn't he?