this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 57 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

This has to be a cover story, right? If this is what happened, why would they just admit to it like this?

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 41 points 2 years ago (1 children)

100% they got ventilated by a guy in sweatpants with an AK older than himself

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

This. It's remarkably easy to slip on a wet ladder when you're busy getting riddled with bullets from above.

[–] blobjim@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

how would they even know this in the first place? and why would it take multiple days for the whole story to come out?

[–] regul@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

Hope against hope that the political polarization has infiltrated the military and intelligence communities and the Trumpers are acting like a fifth column.

Maybe these two Marines slipped and died to own the libs!

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago

Limited hangout. When people know you’re lying and perhaps even the details (e.g. Houthis claimed they killed the seals), they’ll pivot to giving you piecemeal information. Everyone will be focused on the ladder, maybe the weapons, but they won’t ask about anything else.

[–] Cummunism@hexbear.net 48 points 2 years ago (2 children)

i like how they are supposed to go after someone that falls in the water. The Navy demands you die in pairs.

[–] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

one weird trick the US Navy doesn't want you to know

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I can't prove it, but I know it's true that the first one slipped and fell and knocked the second one down.

[–] Cummunism@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

from the top rope you say?

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

BY GOD IT'S A HOUTHI SOLDIER WITH A STEEL CHAIR!

[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If it was me, i would just simply not drown.

[–] joaomarrom@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

Thats right

[–] Des@hexbear.net 41 points 2 years ago (3 children)

warm water too. so maybe 2-3 days of delerium unless the sharks got them.

lol. transshork-happy

[–] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Unless they sank from being strapped to like 50 lbs of gear. Also an awful way to go

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I think I remember reading something about seals drowning in vietnam from trying to go across rivers with gear on so that's why they developed those life jackets you see them with, lol vietnam stays winning.

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago
  • Barbarossa I walking into a river wearing chain mail in his way to do a crusade in the middle east

  • SEALs walking into a river wearing full tactical gear

same-picture

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago

Boat ladders have a symbiotic relationship with oceanic carnivores confirmed.

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago

Seals are a staple diet for sharks.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Guess basic training didn't prepare you for the no wet floor sign.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago

blows whistle

No running on the boat!

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago

Critical failure on a DC2 Dexterity check to climb a ladder

Critical failure on a Wisdom saving throw to not jump into the ocean at night after the first guy

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago

To be fair, they're more used to doing things like furnishing little boys and heroin to pedophile warlords in the desert

[–] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Uncritical support to ladders in the struggle against imperialism.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

this must be the escalation ladder I keep hearing about

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 28 points 2 years ago

Folks just because your commander in chief falls down the stairs doesn't mean you're supposed to as well

[–] Dr_Gabriel_Aby@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

They were pirates hahahaahahahababahahah the Americans were pirates hahahhahaj

who would win:

  • the elite of the elite of the most expensive military on the planet
  • a slightly moist poopdeck
[–] CascadeOfLight@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago

How long until Hasan gets the ladder on stream?

[–] Deadend@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Isn’t getting onto boats and swimming a core skill for SEALs? Alongside eating clams?

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

So is lying about what really happened.

[–] Deadend@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

Seals do not lie.

Sea lions do.

[–] TheDialectic@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] buh@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

DOD cheaped out and got them walmart boots so they could send the difference to ukraine

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago

Navy Banana PEEL

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago

To be fair, he was busy writing his memoir of the war.

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

It’s Daily Mail, but fuck it I don’t care if they want to make the empire look extremely stupid whether it’s true or not

[–] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago
[–] VILenin@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

Hitman speedrunners put a banana peel there. Sad

[–] GladimirLenin@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

rat-salute It's been a pleasure drowning with you Captain rat-salute-2

[–] idkmybffjoeysteel@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

white people stop functioning when the water hits 70 F

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

They didn’t learn the SEAL part