this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2024
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The hero we need (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to c/funny@lemmy.world
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[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 78 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

A few year ago my bank switched their ATMs to a new model able to accept cash without an envelope. The problem I have is it rejects any bill that has even the slightliest little fold or bend in it, meaning any cash that has been in a wallet or ever folded often gets rejected. Instead of depositing cash in the ATM and having to try 3-5 deposits to get all the cash to stay in, I go to the teller if the bank is open.

Every god damn time the teller makes some remark about "you know you could just use the ATM" and i have to resist my blood boiling. I've tried to use the ATM, it fucking sucks. Invest in better tech or accept I'll waste employee time.

[–] toasteecup@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Since you didn't mention it, I'm curious if you've tried the smoothing trick. This is where you take the bill from both sides and gently but firmly slide it along a corner edge.

If you have any it doesn't, then I'm sorry. I wanted to see if I could help. I had to deal with really picky vending machines back in the day which is how I learned that trick.

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Thanks for the tip, I've had some success with it before. I'm in Canada and our money is made of plastic, it tends to have a really good "memory" once it gets folded. I swear the machines even reject pristine bills as well.

[–] toasteecup@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ahhh gotcha, I'm down in the states with paper based cash. I actually didn't know Canada's was plastic. Ugh those machines though they sound like the worst. Hopefully they improve soon

[–] deweydecibel@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

It might be that the machine they're using is one bought from a manufacturer in the states, and the readers are better at reading paper bills than plastic ones.

Also the machine might just need serviced.

[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Our machines (like vending and coin exchange) often reject bills that are too new and crisp, as well as too old and uncrisp.

There’s a sweet spot with tech, and that needs to stop being the case.

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It feels like this basic thing should have been caught in testing before the machines even got mass produced. Like the guys building it probably had access to various bills to test with.

[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 years ago

Bank bill counters can manage it with both speed and precision, and have been able to do so for a very long time. This is more of a problem with costs than possibility. They ignored the fringe cases intentionally.

The companies making the atms and other vending devices don’t care if you get frustrated, they know you will typically keep trying until it works because “that’s just how vending machines are”. the important thing is their machine is cheap, since it might get vandalized and cost them money to replace.

I feel there’s a reason most of them take cards now (it’s easier to spend more, don’t need change, machines aren’t storing large amounts of cash making them a target, and the tech is easier to have function properly for cheap, plus they can charge an extra fee!). Is not a good move, just part of the enshitification of everything.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Don't resist. Let them know how you feel. That both stops the smarmy remarks and makes it more likely someone will look into it.

[–] deweydecibel@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Exactly this.

It's possible the cash deposit isn't being used by enough people so they aren't being informed it isn't working often enough to actually do anything about it. It could be some simple malfunction, and a maintenance call to the manufacturer could fix the issue in minutes.

Happens a lot in work places, and in tech spaces in general. People don't want to "raise a fuss" or be labeled "complainers", so they don't speak up.

Always speak up. Don't assume they're aware of your concerns. Feedback is important, don't withhold it.

I've seen this happen countless times. Some printer or whatever in the office hasn't been working properly for years, but they just got used to putting up with it and never put a ticket into IT. Then I eventually find and out 20 minutes was all it took to fix it.

[–] Gregorech@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

You could always use the night drop, even in the daytime.

[–] deweydecibel@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Might not have one.

[–] BobGnarley@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

And wait an unnecessary amount of time for them to add it to your account. Sometimes 24 hours

[–] lemmylommy@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Have you asked them where to find the ironing board and iron?

[–] HollandJim@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Or, you could change banks. Crazy though, I know…

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 70 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Reminds me of the guy who got fed up that his city wasn't fixing pot holes:

https://www.theverge.com/2015/5/2/8535259/penis-pothole-activism-wanksy-england

[–] boyi@lemmy.sdf.org 19 points 2 years ago

You reminded me of this. The potholes were fixed the very next day after the tweet.

[–] deweydecibel@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago

"Wanksy"

[–] IphtashuFitz@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Reminds me of the Russian drawbridge that was adorned with a dick pic…

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 47 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Love to see an avatar of a guy in a suit with misspellings and grammatical errors.

The suit is supposed to imply professionalism and dignity. The post implies low abilities. I'm here for it.

(If I have errors in my comment, I'm still drunk from NYE and it's early where I live. I don't have an avatar, so fuck off.)

[–] BlueSquid0741@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 years ago

The guy’s in Bunbury though, so it makes sense

(jk I’ve known some really awesome people from Bunbury)

[–] deweydecibel@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

(If I have errors in my comment, I'm still drunk from NYE and it's early where I live. I don't have an avatar, so fuck off.)

I don't see any errors in your comment*, unless I'm being extremely pedantic about using parentheses to bracket an entire paragraph, but I'm not the fucking MLA handbook.

But yeah, I find it genuinely hilarious how some people don't appreciate how much more difficult it is to take them seriously when they write like this. Which isn't normally an issue, until they want to be taken seriously.

Edit: clarification

[–] IndefiniteBen@leminal.space -1 points 2 years ago (2 children)

...and will,, power than youre intire organisation.

I think this is meant to be "and will power through your entire organisation."?

[–] Gaspar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Nah, it's "I have more fish, more tape, and more willpower than your entire organization".

[–] IndefiniteBen@leminal.space 1 points 2 years ago

That makes more sense, thanks!

[–] deweydecibel@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I was talking about the comment I was responding to, not the OP. Edited it to make that clearer.

Yeah, that tweet or whatever is a mess.

[–] rsuri@lemmy.world 37 points 2 years ago (1 children)

They probably break them on purpose so they can get free fish.

That's what happens when you outsource your ATM maintenance to dolphins.

[–] z00s@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Lmao OK you win the internet for today

[–] z00s@lemmy.world 30 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I love how he says,

so we won't HAVE to tape fish

as if there's simply no other option. Like, that's the only way you can summon the ATM maintenance crew.

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 4 points 2 years ago

It's an offering

[–] funktion@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

It costs 1 blue mana to summon them I guess

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 25 points 2 years ago

Hey COMMONWEALTH bank: You just got F I S H M O N G E R E D!

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

that guy deserves a pint

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

Dinner too in case he's used up all his fish by now.

[–] schwim@reddthat.com 13 points 2 years ago (3 children)

The will,, power is strong in this one.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

He's got so much will,, power that it takes two commas and a space to keep the two halves of the word apart. It's the punctuation equivalent of that screwdriver keeping the demon core from going critical.

In this case though, it'd cause a fishin' reaction.

[–] Sharpiemarker@startrek.website 4 points 2 years ago

Couldn't have put it better myself.

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

But I fear he will soon stop having more fish and tape than that company.

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 years ago

Careful. He's a hero.

[–] Surp@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

They have more fish and tape

[–] Chev@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Great that you found something to get their attention. Just please leave the fish alone. No need for this cruelty.

[–] Ignisnex@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Very unlikely this guy is catching wild fish to tape to a machine. More likely went to a grocery store or fish monger, and bought a pre-dead fish who experienced no additional cruelty than any other pre-dead fish.

Wasteful? Maybe. Definitely not additionally cruel.

[–] tslnox@reddthat.com 4 points 2 years ago

Did the fish ask the guy if he had any grapes?

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Anyone else want some grilled fish after seeing this?

[–] Arthur_Leywin@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

A true proletariat

[–] steve44@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

tape one of those talking fish!

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago

You place a man in a corner, a man's gonna tape fish to stuff.