Also them: — date dudes with so many personal issues that it ends up driving them up the wall and disrupting their lives with obsessive neediness and constant insecurity —

Me: lol ok.

My standards aren't even that high. I just live in a shitty conservative town and don't feel like traveling 1 hour+ just to see a human that might just be trying to hookup even though I clearly say that's not at all what I'm interested in.

Just give me a stable dude who can communicate well, is secure in their sexuality, doesn't have a criminal record, likes Stardew Valley, lizards, and is cool with stuffed animals, and I'll give it a shot.

[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My wife and I started living together after 3 months, talking marriage at 6, and formally engaged at 9 months. We've been married over 6 years now.

I don't have time for high school nonsense. I'm not going to burn 1+ years of my life on a "maybe". The older I get, the better I learn what I want and don't want.

We both had similar goals, or rather, goals that we could grow in together and not go separate ways. We had a shared sense of humor. My weaknesses were her strengths and vice versa. And we have activities we love doing together and things we love doing alone. It's fucking great.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago

A major advantage of dating when you're closer to 30 is that, for most people, you're finally secure enough in your own identity to where you worry less about whether they like you and more about whether you like them.

If I had stopped to ask myself the latter question at 22, I would have saved myself the raging dumpster fire that was my first marriage because the answer was a resounding "No." My first wife was a horrible person with very little to like. But back then I didn't like "me" very much and I guess on some level I was afraid that no one else would either. Despite plenty of evidence to the contrary.

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