Pulling out my d20 and yelling “Roll for initiative!” every time my boss walks past
this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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Throwing my metal dice at my boss
With a wrist rocket.
(With a high power slingshot, also they're d4s)
Loading a lead d100 into a musket.
D4s in the aisle to caltrop my boss
Why are they called d4s if they do 1d3 damage when thrown? Checkmate liberals.
Women are constantly laughing at my dice. It's what the kids call rizz
Nothing funny about rolling snake eyes on someone at work. Not saying it ever happened to me. Leave me alone
rolling 2d6 until i get snake eyes and telling my friends "wait for it" each time i dont get snake eyes
“I think you’re lying! 🎲🎲"
“…gotdammit.”
Nervous laughter while looking for an escape route is still laughter.
Very funny bit lmao
Remember to weight the die to always get those snake eyes. Gotta impress the ladys
"hey, guess the number" that always leaves the girls giggling
I'm inclined to believe that part it's just that they aren't going to be laughing with you
look if a guy gave that as a pick up line, I'd definitely give him a shot.
Hey you wanna guess the number this lands on?
what kind of dice are we talking? 2d6? 1d20?
d20
17
Well what happens if you dont roll snake eyes when one of the boys is telling tall tales?
Everyone laughs at you while you slowly walk away, head hung in shame
Before I asked my girlfriend out I used to really lean in to my nerdiness when flirting with her. Mainly because she would make fun of me for it and I loved any attention she gave me. She was a barmaid at our local wetherspoons.
I used to bring in the latest Warhammer model I'd painted and proudly show it to her. I would wax about how much captain Picard inspired me to do better. I even showed her my dice.
Anyway despite the cringe and her making fun of me she did actually find it endearing, and 7 years later we are still solid as rock.
That is so sweet 
that's adorable. goin down to the pub to show off my toys now
4-sided dice make excellent caltrops. Everybody will be impressed with your tiny caltrops when the Pygmy Huns try to flank the punch bowl with their cavalry at the office Christmas party.
Pygmy huns at the party? What is this, an episode of teen girl squad?!
Did that dude just say he likes cloth?
The people that have dice with them are usually those that want to play a dice game behind the post office where they get a bunch of idiots to gamble the last bit of money they have and lose it all.
new Dan Flashes spokesman just dropped
ngl those liquid filled d20s do indeed activate the magpie portion of my brain when I see them
I have a chonky transparent teal one with gold flecks in it and liquid glitter core. I love it to bits
Way worse things to be than a dice guy. Seems pretty cool to me... but also one time I found my roomates set of red/yellow cards from reffing youth soccer and proceeded to carry them around for two weeks giving out penalties for random nonsense. Dropped your food? That's a yellow card.
Its just prop comedy. This guy is the Carrot Top of hitting on girls.
I was with him until the hitting on girls things. That's a fantasy to him, and an uncomfortable experience to everybody else
If he axed that? Protect this man at all cost
I don't know if I'd even say there is necessarily anything wrong with the flirting thing. Assuming there is some social context and he isn't just walking up to women in the grocery store, it sounds they are just being used as a conversation piece. There's nothing creepy or menacing or resentful about asking someone to guess a number.
He just wants a bit of positive feedback and this is the best he can do.
Assuming there is some social context
I mean I assume this is a shitpost but nothing else about "carries-dice-everywhere-guy" really seems to point to understanding social context much
Which is fine, in a lot of situations, there's reason I put "protect this man at all cost" in there, gets real iffy once you get into flirting tho
hot
uh hickory dickory dock