this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2023
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Today I Learned (TIL)

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You learn something new every day; what did you learn today?

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[–] collegefurtrader@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

What do you do when your partner accuses you of gaslighting because they have zero self confidence?

Example, the wife accused me of throwing away the kid’s pacifier, which I didn’t do.

She keeps badgering me so i just said ok, i did, I threw it away.

So she looks in the trash, and it was in there. And I literally, honestly, had nothing to do with it, our 2yo put it in the trash, which I didn’t know.

She was all twisted up and I had nothing to say 🤷‍♂️

[–] JCSpark@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago

I suspect there's something else potentially going on. I'm not a therapist, so I can't offer advice, but I can share experiences.

I had a partner at one point that would jump to conclusions without context. She would assume I had done things that I had not, and blame me for it. Later in life, I learned that she had been projecting her insecurities on me. This may have been the easier route compared to dealing with the root causes.

Dealing with those root causes would have been incredibly painful and would require some serious reevaluation of her value structure and decision making. That's not a journey for the lighthearted.

My partner refused to go to therapy, and I think that was a mistake. I've been seeing a therapist for almost a year now and it's the best thing I could have done.

I hope my story helps you in some way.

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